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Category- Max/Liz. Isn't it always? But, really, I may write a Michael/Maria soon. I've got a perfect song for a MkM song-fic.

Rating- PG-13 for language and thematic elements (disturbing suicide shit).

Disclaimer- Don't own the characters. Don't own Roswell. This must come as a shock to you. The song is "Absence of Fear" by Jewel.

Setting- Liz POV, post-Destiny, accompanied by the song. Very dark, very angsty, very Dreamy.

Distribution- I want you to distribute it! I'll love you forever if you do! Just tell me where it is.

Author's note- Shout outs to all the Witchies, Kara, Emily, Melinda Metz, Jason Katims, the people who gave me positive feedback for my previous stories (feedback makes me feel all tingly), and all the fanfic authors.

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I've taken all I can.

We held back, we came together, he split us apart, we came together, I split us apart. I can't take this anymore. I love Max, more than life itself. But his destiny got in the way. Fuck destiny.

inside my skin
there is this space
it twists and turns
it bleeds and aches

I don't really think Tess is his destiny. If she was meant to be with him, how could I have felt so much with him? The flashes, the flames of passion I felt as we kissed...I've always known he is the only one I can love like this, and I the only one he can love like this.

I told him that I was leaving him to Tess because it was easier to explain, more logical, more tangible than my feelings now. Even as Scientist Liz, I can't really explain the feelings coursing white-hot through my veins. There's love for Max, always that, but there's also dread. I know that he and I are each other's weaknesses, Pierce and Valenti proved that well enough. I know that I want him, no, I ~need~ him with me. But I also know that the fate of an entire planet rests on Max's shoulders. If protecting me is his priority, he won't, can't, do what he needs to do. I don't fear for any of us anymore, not really. It doesn't seem to matter as much as it used to. It's almost over anyway.

inside my heart there's an empty room
it's waiting for lightning
it's waiting for you
and I am wanting
and I am needing you here
inside the absence of fear

I'm running now, not sure of my destination. It's dry and cool and sandy here, in the middle of the desert. I'm not even sure how I got here. I'm here to finish it, though. I need him and he needs to do what he needs to do. This is my last option.

Gasping, needing, collapsing. I can feel the soft velvet of my dress under my wet fingers--wet? I realize I'm bleeding, but can't remember exactly how it happened.

muscle and sinew
velvet and stone
this vessel is haunted
it creaks and moans

Pulling the blade out of my pocket, I pause, contemplate the blade. It is cold, hard, metal. Unforgiving. Will never give back what it takes. But I am not frightened anymore. It's almost over anyway.

I then ponder my wrist. Pale skin pulled taut over bone and muscle and sinew and veins. Almost translucent, almost glowing in the dim twilight.

I smile, dim as the light, and pull the knife gently over the skin of my wrist, watching the warm, scarlet blood trickle down to the sand. This is only a beginning, exposing myself before ending it all.

Inexplicably, I notice myself trembling, moaning softly. I do not feel fear anymore--but I do feel pain. I cry out to Max, I know deep inside that I need him now more than ever. It is me that has done this, it is he who will stop me.

my bones call to you
in their separate skin
I make myself translucent
to let you in, for
I am wanting
I am needing
inside the absence of fear

Without warning, I feel arms encircle my waist and a rough voice whisper "Liz" over and over, like a mantra. I realize slowly that it is Max, and he is sobbing my name. I cannot see his face, but I know his touch and his voice and his smell. I have always known them, before I was born. Just as he knew what I was doing, where I was.

there is this hunger
this restlessness inside of me
and it know that you're no stranger
you're my gravity
my hands will adore you through all darkness aim
they will lay you out in moonlight
and reinvent your name

I look up into his large hazel eyes, spilling over with tears. I once described them as soulful, but that was before I knew him so well. They are soul-revealing, soul-defining eyes. They keep no emotion hidden from me. His fear for me, his love for me, his denial of his destiny. I smile and tell him not to be afraid. It's always easier without fear.

for I am wanting you
and I am needing you here
I need you near
inside the absence of fear.