Rating: PG

Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: No, I don't own them, but you knew that.
Summary: Isabel leaves Alex, but returns to find some things have changed.
Category: Alex and Isabel
Notes: Thanks to Emily, for her little tip in telling me to actually have a plan for a story. You're the best Supergirl.

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College. It was exactly like it was portrayed in various movies. Parties, drinking binges, wild and crazy frat boys. Well it could have been like that if you chose to go that route. Not for Alex, he chose the sane road. Sane as you could get without blowing a head gasket from the incredible amount of studying he had to do. He was in the library, reading up on his literature for some huge English paper he had due in a week.

"Is this seat taken?" a feminine voice asked.

"By all means," Alex said pointing at the chair, his tone not entirely unfriendly, but still flat and emotionless. His entire demeanor for the past two years had been closed off and cold. As cold as the bed she had left him in. He could have easily passed for Michael in the attitude department. But he supposed these were the results of getting your hearts one true desire, and having it all taken away.

"Vonnegut, huh?" the girl asked glancing at his book. "I'm partial to Salinger myself."

Alex was starting to get a little annoyed. All he had wanted to do was get his research done, then go back to his dorm for yet another lonely night filled with depressing music floating in the back round.

"Listen," he began still jotting down a few notes. "I have to…" His sentence stopped dead as he lifted his eyes toward her. She looked like…her. An exact double, minus the glasses and the highly noticeable green eyes instead of brown. Some of the old Alex appeared as he started to stumble over his words. She smiled at his stuttering.

"Talk much?" she teased.

"Not to often no," he replied.

"I'm Jesse," she said extending her hand, and giving him a flirtatious grin. "Jesse Kirkland."

"Alex," he replied. "Alex Whitman."

"Well, Alex Whitman, were just going to have to get you to talk more."

Two months later.

Alex had tried for a week to get Jesse to understand that he wasn't much of a friendly person. Let alone looking for any friends in the first place. She would have none of it. Her persistence had annoyed him at first, but after awhile he had given up. They began to hang out together all the time. Even though Alex had Liz and Maria available at any time he needed them, having someone that was within walking distance had done so much for his alienated existence. She was constantly clawing at the walls he had built around himself, and slowly, he let them collapse. He had let himself grow close to her, something he never thought he would be able to do again. They could talk about anything, just like he could with Maria or Liz. They could hang out and never say a word at all; it was an amazing feeling. For two years he had blocked off every emotion other that anguish, and then this girl came into his life and smacked him upside the head for it. She had made him live, not merely exist. Jesse's crush on him had been apparent from day one, but Alex had kept her strictly in the friend zone. He didn't think he could ever be with anyone romantically again. Not after…

They were sitting in a coffeehouse on campus watching some local band. He watched her out of the corner of his eye, sipping her coffee and nodding her head along with the music. She noticed his stare and turned to smile at him. God it was uncanny. Even with her glasses and green eyes, Jesse was the splitting image of Isabel. It was really hard to keep her at arms length sometimes, she was so warm and kind, and never let Alex relapse into his hobbit phase. A phase that had lasted exactly seven hundred thirty days. He had to smile back. Feeling bold, Alex had asked her to dance. Her eyes brightened and she nodded her head anxiously. The band started into a slow song as they walked to the floor, and Jesse melted into his arms.

"Why don't we do this more often?" she mumbled into his chest.

Alex sighed and smiled sadly. "You know why," he said.

"I know, I know. You can't get involved," she said quietly.

"It's not that I don't like you."

"Of course," she said. "Alex, you know how I feel about you, and I just don't understand why you keep me away. I mean…you say it isn't me."

"It isn't you."

"Then what is it?"

"You look like her," he said.

She looked back at him in shock, and He could only offer a sad smile. Alex had told her about Isabel. He had to after Jesse had really started to express her feelings toward him. How she was the love of his life for the longest time, and how she had finally let him in. How she had disappeared without a trace and for years he felt nothing but hollow inside. He hadn't told Jesse she looked like Isabel before, he didn't really know how'd she react. By the look on her face now it wasn't as bad as he'd expected, but it wasn't any better.

"So that's why we can't? Every time you see me…you see her?"

"Of course not," he said kissing her forehead. "It's just a little weird."

"So that is the reason."

"No," he insisted. "Jesse, when I look at you, I see you. That's what makes it so hard."

Spring break had come, and Jesse had gone back to her hometown to visit. Alex couldn't go back to Roswell. His teaching assistant duties had him grading papers for three days straight. When he was done, he found himself missing her, a lot. Without her constant badgering to get him to perk up he found himself thinking again. Thinking about Isabel. How she had finally told him she was ready to be with him, how she wasn't afraid anymore. The months of pure bliss it had been, and the night. The night she had snuck into his room, and they made love for the first time. He could still taste her skin under his lips, feel her bare chest pushing against his. The way she hissed his name as they both reached ecstasy… The feel of waking up alone. The endless wondering if he had done anything wrong. Wondering if he had sent her away. The waiting. Waiting for her to come back, and the painful realization that she wasn't.

Tears stung his eyes, as he batted them away. It still hurt as bad as it had back then. He wandered over to the stereo, needing to hear something fast paced. Jesse had hid all of his depressing music, so he wouldn't start an endless cycle of moping. He switched on the stereo and smiled at the picture that lay on top of it. He and Jesse at their table at the coffeehouse, he was laughing at a joke she'd made while a friend of theirs snapped the picture. He picked it up and ran his fingers across her face. Something about her not being here had sparked something inside of him he thought long dead. He wanted her to come back; maybe he would make her dreams come true when she did.

He wandered by the science building, glancing at the many people hanging out on the steps. It was Thursday. Jesse was due back today and he couldn't help the smile that crept onto his face. He had decided that if she still wanted to, he could give them a try. He couldn't sit around pining for Isabel forever; he'd already wasted two years of his life doing that. And while it still didn't hurt any less, it wasn't going to stop him from possibly being happy ever again. He rounded the side of the building and saw her walking towards the door. 'That little sneak,' he thought. She was back and didn't even bother to page him. He swallowed back the lump in his throat as he snuck up behind her, spun her around to face him, and gently kissed her lips. She stiffened for a second, enough so that Alex started to withdraw. But she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. Urging his mouth apart with her tongue, and pressing her body closer to his. It soon grew into a frenzied mix of relieved angst and growing passion. Slowly, the kiss lessened and the two broke apart.

"I've missed you," she said her eyes shining. Her brown eyes.

No. Oh no. It couldn't be.

"Isabel?" he asked.

"Hello, Alex."

"What are you…I mean how…"

Shock was interfering with any coherent thought. He took a deep breath and let the shock pass. It was soon replaced by anger.

"What are you doing here?" he bit out coldly.

Her eyes widened at his sudden lack of emotion.

"I…what I had to do is over with. I came here to look for you."

"Why?!"

"Because I could never stop thinking about you Alex. How you would look at me. Your smile, the way you would act like…

No. No! She couldn't. She couldn't just come back after all this time. Not after what she did.

“I couldn't stop thinking about when we…"

"Shut up!" he cried, his voice coming choked and haggard. "Just shut up…please." He fell to his knees and the tears began to flow freely.

"Alex?" Isabel heard someone call his name.

"Alex!" Isabel watched as a blonde haired girl carrying a large duffel bag, rushed over to Alex and enveloped him in a hug.

"What's wrong?" she asked him.

"Isabel," he said staring at the ground.

"Oh you poor thing," she said softly. "Thinking about her again?"

"Not quite, look up."

Jesse lifted her head from his shoulder and looked toward the blonde haired girl silently watching them. Jesse shot her a look that could cause flowers to wilt, and Isabel hung her head down.

"You going to be okay?" she asked turning her attention back to Alex.

"I'll be alright," he replied

"Who is this?" Isabel asked quietly.

"Jesse," she said rising to face Isabel before Alex could say anything. "Jesse Kirkland."

"Oh," Isabel said blinking at her boldness. "I'm.."

"I know who you are."

Isabel looked back down to Alex.

"Is she your…?"

"I don't think that's any of your business," Jesse snapped.

"I wasn't asking you," Isabel shot back giving her to old ice princess glare.

"Jesse, Izzy, cool it," Alex spoke up rising to his feet. "Now you two…"

As he looked at them both staring back at him, seeing how much they truly did look alike. He couldn't help it. It had become to humorous, and he started to laugh. The hard glare from both of them only made him laugh harder.

"Oh man," he managed to say in between giggles. "This is just too parent trap."

"Alex," Isabel said. "We need to talk."

His laughter died down eventually, and he fixed his eyes on her with a cold stare. She nearly shivered under it.

"Talk? You need to talk? Talk away, but I can't guarantee I'll be listening."

"Alex," Jesse said walking up to him. "You do need to talk to her."

He glared at her, but she wasn't buying it.

"I know you," she said matching his stare. "Those eyes aren't going to work on me mister."

Isabel saw the little exchange and hugged herself lightly. Who was this Jesse? And how did she know Alex so well?

"Look Isabel, you need to talk? We can talk. Coffee house?" he asked looking at Jesse.

"Coffeehouse," she agreed.

"Let's go," he said to Isabel.

***

They entered the coffeehouse and Alex and Jesse headed for the usual table with Isabel silently in tow. Their waiter friend Paul walked by the table to say hello and take orders, and did a classic cartoon double take when he saw Jesse and Isabel. Alex smirked while Jesse and Isabel both looked away, the two's uneasiness around each other could have been visible to a blind man.

"You needed to talk," Alex said to Isabel. "Talk."

"I was hoping we could talk alone," Isabel replied.

"I'll go up to the counter and talk to Paul," Jesse offered.

"You don't have to go, Jesse."

"Yeah I do, Alex. I'll be right other there okay?"

"Okay," he said as he smiled at her and she walked off.

Isabel continued to watch the two, and for the fiftieth time that day she had regretted coming here.

"So…you two?" she asked hesitantly.

"That's not what you wanted to talk about."

"Right," she said softly. "I wanted to…tell you why…I guess."

"Tell me why?" He seethed through clenched teeth. "How are you possibly going to explain what you did? You left Isabel. Not a phone call, not a letter, nothing. Just an empty bed and some cold sheets. Was it just a last blast before you left? Sleep with good ol' Alex because he worshipped the ground you walked on, so he'll always be there when I get back."

"No! It wasn't. It wasn't like that at all."

"Then what was it, Isabel? You aren't doing to good of a job convincing me otherwise."

"You always made me feel safe," she said. "Max, Michael, Tess, and I. We were all called to fight some other evil aliens, and I…was…scared. We had to leave, we had to fight them Alex. But before we left, I just had to feel safe one more time, and you, you always could make me feel that."

"So you used me."

"No! It…I…"

"You did, Isabel. I know you loved me, but that still doesn't change the fact. You slept with me and then ran off to chase your destiny."

Her head snapped up the second the last word escaped his lips.

"Don't look so surprised," he said. "You think Max didn't break down and tell Liz? You think Maria didn't pound it out of Michael? You were the only one…"

"I'm sorry," she said, her voice thick, and tears dripping down her cheeks.

"It's okay," he said reaching for her face and wiping her tears away. Easing her pain still came as a second nature to him. "It's in the past, it doesn't matter anymore."

His words only caused her to cry more, and he reached out and put his arm around her shoulders.

"I…I still…"

"I know," he said. "I know you do."

Jesse watched them from the counter. She saw Alex put his arm around her, murmur something into her ear. He still loved her. It was as plain as day to see. She hung her head as her stomach cramped to the size of a tennis ball. The realization hitting her like a ton of bricks, she could never be with Alex, not in the way she wanted, not when his heart so clearly belonged to someone else. She had known it for awhile now, but it still didn't make it hurt any less. She couldn't stay here and watch this. She hopped off of her stool and ran straight out the door not looking back, just trying to push her way down the street eye's blurred with her tears.

Alex looked up from Isabel just in time to Jesse sprint out of the coffeehouse.

"Jesse?"

Isabel lifted her head from his shoulder, as Alex let go and started to run after his friend. She bowed her head slightly. He had moved on, there was nothing she could do, but something still made her want to follow him. She got up from her seat and gave chase.

"Jesse!" Alex called as he ran after her. "Jesse! Slow down!"

"Go away!" she shouted back.

Alex caught her arm and jerked her to a halt.

"What's wrong, girly?" he asked hauling her to him.

"You know!" she yelled at him. "You know what's wrong! Now just let me go!" She struggled out of his grasp and took off running again, not looking as she ran across the street, not seeing the car that couldn't possibly stop in time.

Tires screeched, glass shattered, as Jesse's body was bombarded by two tons of American steel. Her limp body crashed to the ground with a sickening thud.

"Jesse!" Alex cried. "Noooooo!" He ran up to her still form and cradled her gently. "No, please, no. Jesse, oh god Jesse."

Isabel ran up to them just in time to see Jesse get hit. The driver of the car kept going, not even bothering to slow down.

"Is she…" she asked rushing up to Alex.

"Help her!" Alex shouted. "You have to help her! Please!"

"I can't, Alex, I…"

"Please!" he begged. "You have to help her. If you ever truly felt anything for me you'll do this!"

Isabel saw the pain and fear in his eyes as he pleaded with her. Max would surely kill her for this later, but then again he'd done the same thing hadn't he? She knelt down to Jesse, whose blood covered body was still wrapped in Alex's arms.

"Jesse," she said. "Jesse, you have to look at me. Look at me!"

Alex moved Jesse's head toward Isabel and gently forced her eyes open. Within seconds Isabel had made the connection. Images of Jesse's life began to flash before her eyes as Isabel went to work on repairing her damaged body. Three bones to heal, massive blood clots to break up, brain swelling to relieve. The car had certainly done a number on her. The images continued to flash as Isabel worked on her. Images of Alex came into view. Alex crying in Jesse's arms, letting her finally see what had kept him so closed off to her. The two at the coffeehouse. And love. The love she had for Alex could almost rival Isabel's. As Isabel finished repairing the injuries, she sent a little message to Jesse's brain.

"Love him." It said. "Don't make a mistake like I did. Love him and never let him go."

With that finished Isabel let go of Jesse and the connection broke.

"She should be okay," she told Alex.

"Thank you," he said grabbing her arm pulling her toward him and kissing her softly. "Thank you so much."

"W-what's going on?" Jesse mumbled in Alex's arms.

"Ssh," he said stroking her hair back from her forehead. "You're all right now."

"How?" she asked looking up at Alex.

"Isabel," he said looking at her. "You should be thanking Isabel."

Jesse's eyes grew wide and she turned and looked toward Isabel. "Thank you," she said sincerely. Isabel smiled sadly, and started to get up. Alex followed and gently lifted Jesse to her feet.

"But…how…?"

"It's a long story," Alex said. "But I'll tell you all about it."

He looked over to Isabel wordlessly asking permission. Isabel nodded as they began to walk back to Alex's dorm. It was going to be a long night.

Three days later.

"How are you holding up?" he asked entering her room.

"Fine," she sighed. "All things considering."

"It is a lot to take in at first."

"Have you talked to her yet?"

"No."

"You should."

"I can't, alright?" he said waving his arms in the air and collapsing on her couch. "I know she saved your life and everything, but I just…"

"Alex…"

"No!"

She sighed and started to rub her aching shoulder.

"Here," he said moving up behind her. "Let Dr. Alex take care of that."

"Stop that!" she cried whirling around to face him.

"Stop what? Jesse I don't under…"

"Flirting with me!" she shouted. "Do you have any idea how that feels? Having you touch me, making me think you want me."

"I do want you."

"You don't want me," she said sadly. "You just want what I could offer."

"Offer?"

"A chance, Alex. A chance for you to finally move on. But that's all it would be…a chance."

He looked like he was going to protest, and as much as it was going to kill her to say this, she pressed on.

"She loves you, you know."

"Could we not talk about Isabel?" he sighed exasperated.

"We have to. Alex, she loves you. You know what she said when she healed me? To hold on to you for dear life and never let you go. She loves you enough to let you go…and…so do I."

"What?"

"You love her too, Alex. I know you do. I saw it that day in the coffeehouse. Now matter how much she hurt you, you were still there for her. Look at me and tell me you don't still love her.

He looked away, answering her question.

"Go to her, Alex. Be with her. We both know it's what you want."

"What about us?" he asked.

"There never was an us," she said as the tears began to build. "No matter how much I fooled myself into believing there could have been."

Alex stared at her, silently apologizing for any hurt he was causing her.

"I'm sor…" he began.

"No," she interrupted. "No apologies. You can't help what you feel."

"I do love you," he said placing his hand upon her cheek.

"I know," she replied, a single tear falling across his fingers. "But you belong to her."

They shared a chaste hug before he slowly turned and walked out the door.

"Good bye, Alex. I love you too."

Back to Area 51 (Section III)