Disclaimer: Roswell, its characters and situations, are owned by the WB. No infringement intended.

Author's Note: This story is the part of an evolving future storyline. All the stories currently in this storyline are included in order on the Future Arc page.

When Liz flicked on the light in the kitchen, the shadowy figure slumped at the kitchen table didn’t move. To avoid startling him, she said softly, "Hey, couldn’t you sleep? Did you have a bad dream?"

Her son lifted his head off the table and blinked up at her. "No ... yeah ... maybe," he mumbled, getting up to go back to bed.

"I’ll choose door number two," Liz laughed. She reached up to ruffle Josh’s hair as he tried to slide past her, and was surprised at how far up she had to reach her hand. Her little boy had gotten so tall in the past year.

"Funny, Mom. You know, it’s way too late for game-show humor." He frowned down at her, and Liz realized for the hundredth time that week -- ever since the day of the Crashdown shooting -- that her little boy was almost full-grown into a man. And that she wasn’t sure she was ready to let go of her baby yet.

"You’re probably right," she agreed lightly, not wanting to pursue the letting-go train of thought. "So, what *are* you doing up?"

"I don’t know," he admitted. Liz noticed that he was avoiding her eyes. "I just can’t get things out of my head."

"Things?"

"You know ... I keep wondering what would’ve happened if I hadn’t been there. And if Uncle Michael hadn’t been there. And then I keep feeling the pain ... it was like my brain turned red ... or something...." His voice trailed off, and she noticed when he finally looked at her that his golden-brown eyes were dark with confusion.

So Liz took his hand and pulled him back to the kitchen table. "I felt like that too when I was shot."

"You know," Josh said thoughtfully, "the funny thing is I don’t know whether it was her pain or mine."

"Ah, the connection thing." Liz nodded in understanding.

Josh winced. "Do you think we could not talk about that tonight? I’m still a little weirded out from my conversation with Dad this afternoon."

"If you don’t want to." Liz shrugged and got up from the table. "Since it’s late and we’re both awake, how about some vanilla ice cream?"

"Sure." He looked relieved that she didn’t seem upset, even managed a small smile at her suggesting her favorite ice cream flavor.

Liz smiled back, knowing that it was a joke in their family -- a joke started by Isabel -- that Liz’s taste in food had always been unexceptional bordering on boring except for when she’d been pregnant with Claudia and Josh. When she’d been pregnant, she’d eaten chocolate ice cream smothered in Tabasco sauce every day, just the memory of which was enough to make her stomach turn over these days.

"It helps me think in the middle of the night," she explained as she rummaged through the freezer for the carton of ice cream. She nudged the freezer door closed with her elbow, grabbed two spoons and a bottle of Tabasco sauce, and brought everything back to the table. "So--" she offered Josh a spoon and the bottle of Tabasco-- "I promise I won’t talk about the connection stuff unless you want. But just humor me. Because I’m your mother, and therefore required by the laws of nature to be nosy about stuff like this." She smiled encouragingly at him. "You like her, don’t you? You really like her."

Josh gave her a bitter look as he jabbed his spoon into the frozen ice cream. "Yeah, I like her. I like her a lot. I’m not going to tell you that I don’t have a crush on her because (a) that would be lying; and (b) thanks to Uncle Michael and Aunt Maria, everyone -- including Andrea -- knows that already." He snorted in disgust. "You know, a guy would like to keep some secrets. But in this family, it’s impossible."

"Being the almost-youngest member of a very large, extended family makes it hard," Liz agreed.

"My point exactly. Especially since that large, extended family has decided that the best way to hide its most dangerous secret is in plain sight as doctors and lawyers and artists and writers and businesswomen and I/T consultants and veterinarians." He sighed. "Everybody in Roswell knows all of you, so everyone knows me. Which means that everyone knows my secrets." He stopped and corrected himself. "Or, at least everyone knows who I have a crush on."

"You have a tough life, kiddo." Liz laughed and ruffled his hair again. "So, did your father even mention condoms?"

Josh blushed. "Mom!"

"He was supposed to, you know. That was a big part of the birds-and-the-bees talk he was supposed to bring up."

"You guys are gonna kill me. You know that, right?"

"So I guess he left it to me to talk about safe sex and all that." Liz chewed thoughtfully on her end of her spoon. "Let me think. What do those bases mean again? First base is holding hands? Second base is kissing? Third base is...?"

Josh groaned and covered his face with his hands. "Mom! I’m not even in the ballpark of a ballpark! You and Dad are driving me nuts."

Liz smiled beatifically at him and nodded. "It’s in the job description. So tell me then. If you didn’t talk about the birds-and-the-bees and condoms, what *did* you talk about?"

Josh didn’t respond for a couple of minutes. When he finally spoke, his voice was half-muffled through his fingers. "Soulmates. We talked about soulmates. And about making choices. About being meant."

"Ah," she said knowingly. "The Czechoslovakian version."

Josh jerked his head up and stared at her. "Okay, can we switch back to English? I know you and Dad communicate without words a lot of the time, but the rest of us mere mortals tend not to understand snatches of thoughts masquerading as everyday conversation."

Liz stifled a smile. "Sorry. I’ll translate. The Czechoslovakian version of the birds-and-the-bees talk is about choosing to recognize being meant, choosing a soulmate ... choosing to follow your heart into the unknown even though your head might know and be telling you your destiny is somewhere else." She tilted her head at him. "The Czechoslovakian version of the birds-and-the-bees is also about making connections, which you said you didn’t want to talk about. Are you sure you want me to continue?"

"I think my brain hurts still from this afternoon, so no ... uh, maybe later." He paused. "No, wait a sec--" Josh parroted her tilted-head gesture-- "there *is* something I need to know, even if it comes down to connections again. I think I need some advice from someone who’s been through this. Uh, advice from a woman." He glanced at her awkwardly, then dropped his eyes to the scarred tabletop. Taking a deep breath, he asked, "Mom, what convinced you? I mean, that Dad was the one?"

Liz smiled gently. Although Max hadn’t told her a lot about his conversation with Josh, he had told her enough that Josh’s question wasn’t entirely unexpected. "It was when he gave up everything," she said honestly.

Clearly perplexed, Josh shook his head. "Define ‘everything.’"

"A whole life. An old love. A destiny." She smiled again. "Does that help?"

"Not really," Josh said bluntly. "How could you let him?"

"I didn’t have a choice. He chose to do those things. I could’ve told him not to until I was blue in the face, but they were still his choices. All I could choose to do was to love him. And let him go."

"I don’t get it," Josh complained, frowning at her, "despite the fact that you’re clearly speaking English. Help me out here, Mom."

"The greatest strength of our fragile humanity is our ability to exercise free will, Josh," Liz said gently. "And the most important part of loving someone unconditionally is being brave enough to accept their choices. To love them enough to let them decide for themselves what they need to decide. Even if you’re terrified that whatever they choose will destroy you. Even if their choice might mean that you’re left alone."

Josh digested her words for a couple of minutes, then he remembered something. "Dad’s ‘old love’? Was that Tess?"

Fighting back the old pain, Liz nodded. She was vaguely surprised to feel the old pain at all because it had never been anything but fleeting; it had never had any basis in anything but involuntary physical urges that meant less than nothing beside the deep emotional connection she had always shared with Max....

"So he gave up everything," Josh said, interrupting her musings. "To choose you."

She touched Josh’s hand. "And eventually you. And Claudia before you. And this life with me long before both of you."

Laughing, Josh shook his head. "Trust Dad to come up with the grand gesture. Uncle Michael and Aunt Izzy must’ve been ready to kill him." He took a deep breath, all of a sudden pensive again. "You know, he’s a hard act to follow sometimes."

"I think you do just fine. Besides, you’re your own person. Inherited or even identical genetic material does not a clone make."

Josh stared at her. "Huh?"

"Something I’ve been thinking about lately," she shrugged. "It’s a different way of looking at the nature versus nurture question."

"Okay. Back to English, Mom," he said sternly.

Liz laughed. "Sorry."

"Focus, Mom. I still need some advice here. How do I convince Andrea?"

Liz tried to look appropriately serious. "Convince her of...?"

"Convince her that she really is the girl of my dreams."

And suddenly Liz was as serious as Josh was. She considered carefully before replying. "Josh, just be honest. And follow your heart." She smiled, thinking back. "That’s what we did, your father and I. We took my Grandma Claudia’s advice, and it led us to each other. Even when things looked bad, or weren’t what they seemed. Even when our being together at all didn’t seem possible. Even when the world was upside-down. That’s when we needed to follow our hearts most. Which was what we did."

Groaning, Josh covered his face with his hands. "Oh god. More sap-fest conversation. What a day. No, what a week." Then he lifted his head and stared at her, as if something she had just said just registered. "‘When the world was upside-down’?" he repeated. "Why do I get the feeling that there’s a lot you’re not telling me?"

Liz stood up to put the ice cream away. "There are some things you don’t know about us, kiddo." She smiled mysteriously. "Some secrets that are still secrets."

"Secrets?! You and Dad have secrets?"

"Yup." Liz shot him a teasing look. "And remember that ballpark-bases thing--?"

Josh stared up at her in horror. "Oh god. Please don’t say what I think you’re going to say. That’s a secret that I really, *really* don’t need to know about. Let’s just leave that one behind closed doors. Preferably behind closed *bedroom* doors. Please, Mom. I can’t handle this much of a birds-and-bees talk. No one could. And those are definitely *not* mental images that I need to have, thanks." He shook his head. "I swear you and Dad are gonna ensure that I’m the first sixteen-year old in history to have a heart attack."

Liz checked that the flaps of the ice cream carton were closed and tucked it into the back of the freezer, all the while laughing to herself at the expression on Josh’s face. Deciding he’d had to put up with enough, she said over her shoulder, "Josh? I think I’m going to go back to bed ... unless you had any other questions?"

Josh shook his head. "You answered my questions. You told me to be honest, and to follow my heart. The first part I know how to do. Now I just have to figure out the second part."

Hearing the genuine puzzlement in his voice, Liz came back to the table and dropped a kiss on the top of his head. "You know how to do the second part too, Josh," she said softly.

"I do?" He still sounded puzzled.

So Liz reassured him: "You do."

He frowned at her. "So what do I do with this knowledge?"

"Be honest, Josh. With Andrea."

He frowned harder. "You know, sometimes talking with you and Dad is like talking with Yoda."

Liz laughed. "From ‘Star Wars’?"

"Actually, from ‘The Empire Strikes Back,’ but yeah. You guys are all cryptic, circular wisdom." He studied her thoughtfully. "Is that a parent thing?"

Liz nodded just as thoughtfully. "I think so."

"Well, that’s okay, I guess," Josh said as he stood up. He wrapped an arm around Liz’s shoulders and dropped a kiss on the top of her head, knowingly mimicking her gesture of a couple of minutes earlier. "You guys aren’t so bad as parents. Even if you *are* driving me nuts today." He smiled and squeezed her shoulders lightly. "Thanks, Mom, for the advice."

"You’re welcome, Josh," Liz said, smiling back up at her little boy who was practically a man. "And you know, you’re not so bad as a son either."

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