Days of Future Past: Falling
By Katjen (katjen20@hotmail.com)

They were married on a Saturday and it was beautiful. The Whits sang "Blackbird" and her mother cried because she was with the man she loved and her baby looked so beautiful up there on the stage signing at her wedding. Jim and Amy danced and Max and Liz held hands. Alex got punch for Isabel and they sat at a table in the corner smiling, talking, and occasionally blushing. Maria stood alone beside the gazebo they had erected in their backyard and she was happy for everyone. Max and Liz were getting married too. Max had told her. They were friends again and there was a relief that came with that - a security. Max was a good person - he took care of his friends. He'd held her many times when she'd cried and she'd squeezed his hand whenever he got that faraway look in his eyes because she understood it. She didn't think he ever really forgave himself for letting Michael go and he didn't need her to rub it in. All that time they had been alone with their pain they could have been comforting each other…but that didn't matter now. Life was back to normal for the most part. Everyone was happy and Maria was happy. She was satisfied with herself. She was going to college in the fall. She was getting away from Roswell. She was going to start her life and nothing was going to hold her back. She was moving forward - she had moved forward and this proved it - the smile on her face while she watched her friends with their lovers, her mother with her new husband proved it.

She jumped as she felt a hand slide against the small of her back and a voice murmured in her ear, "I don't think I've ever seen so many pastels…"

Mara grinned and turned to Kyle who handed her a glass of champagne.

"They're wedding colors…"

"I know, I know…I guess I just didn't expect your mother to go for pink…I kinda pictured her in purple or blue…and barefoot…"

Maria smirked and nodded in agreement then paused and tugged on the lapel of his suit. "She's your mother too now…"

"Yeah…I'm still callin' her Amy though…"

"I know what you mean…Jim's Jim to me too…"

They were quiet for a moment, watching their parents feed each other pieces of wedding cake and smirking at how cheesy they were.

"They look happy." Kyle murmured and Maria nodded.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"No, I'm not wearing any underwear."

"Seriously…"

"Seriously, I'm not…"

"Kyle!" she smacked him on the arm laughing and he smiled at her. He liked Maria's laugh. She sounded like a little girl when she did it. It made him want to hug her.

"What's your question?"

"Did you ever hope that your mom would come back? I mean…like were you ever mad at my mom because…because she…got in the way?"

Kyle was quiet for a moment and then shrugged talking another sip of his champagne.

"Amy didn't get in the way of anything. I knew mom wasn't coming back. I guess it never occurred to me to hope for it…Why…? Did you resent my dad?"

"Yeah a little…I mean I used to…I kept hoping that my dad would come back but…I'm over it. I'm glad she's with Jim. He makes her happy…I've never seen her so happy…My dad never did that for her. He made her cry." She took a sip of champagne and licked a drop from her lip. "I don't know why I brought it up…just reminding myself how dumb I used to be…"

"Used to be?" She smacked him again and he jumped back as his drink sloshed over the side of his glass. "I'm kidding, Deluca…You weren't dumb. You just wanted your family back…"

"And now I've got one…A hippy mommy, a cop daddy who can bust me for underage drinking right now and an annoying chia headed step brother…boy am I in heaven…"

"I don't have a chia head!"

"Okay well maybe not anymore…" she conceded. "But in high school…and what was up with those western shirts?"

"Um excuse me? May I remind you of Junior year? Disco died in the 70's, Deluca…"

"What-ever…"

"They're gonna throw the bouquet thingy soon…"

"Yes and you'll see me running in the opposite direction."

"You don't wanna get married? I thought all girls wanna get married…"

"Don't be such a-"

""Male chauvenist pig" - yes I know, Liz has lectured me on this many times…"

"I don't wanna get married."

"Okay."

"Ever."

"Alright." Another sip. "Me neither." Sip. "Why not?"

Because men leave…

"Because I am an independent icon of womanhood and I don't need a man to make my life complete. I don't need anyone but myself." He stared at her.

"You don't need anyone."

"Nope."

"You don't need your mom. You don't need Liz or Alex or Max or Isabel or even Jim. You don't need…me."

"That's not what I mean."

"What do you mean?"

She sighed and unwound a daisy from the gazebo wall. "I don't know. Nothing."

Kyle looked at her for a long moment and said quietly before finishing off his drink, " I thought you were over that guy."

She could've played dumb and asked who he was talking about but for some reason she never did that with Kyle. Liz on the other hand…Well Liz stopped asking about Michael a long time ago.

"I am."

"You're moping."

"I am not!"

"Deluca, I've been watching you okay? For the past half hour I've watched you standing here all by yourself with a fake smile on your face trying not to cry."

"That's not true. I'm not weak like that."

"I didn't say you were weak-"

"I am not like that anymore! I don't pine, I don't sit around in the dark crying over some guy that probably never felt one iota for me what I felt for him. I'm…I'm really…"

"Happy. Right."

"You're such a snot."

"I try." Pause. "Wanna get outta here?"

"YES."

*~*~*

It was Sunday morning and her head hurt. "It's the End of the World (As We Know it)" was playing on the clock radio and she thought to herself "what an awful song to wake up to…". Especially since it *did* feel like it was the end of the world. It was spinning. The world wasn't supposed to do that. It was supposed to be flat. The earth was flat, not round like a beach ball. If you walked for too long you'd fall off the end of it and no one would ever hear from you again.

She reached over to turn off the radio but someone was in her way. She rubbed her eyes. Nope he was still there. That was funny. Kyle's room was down the hall.

Ummm…

Maria blinked and took in her room. There was a box of half eaten pizza on the floor and the two champagne bottles they'd stolen. Champagne and Pizza. No wonder she felt like throwing up…Splayed out over the floor were a deck of cards, her yellow bridesmaid dress, a pair of men's dress trousers…

Oh my God…

She remembered now…

They had gone back to her room. Kyle had been intent on cheering her up even though she'd insisted she didn't need it. They'd ordered a pizza. They'd started playing poker. They'd finished the second bottle of champagne. They'd started playing strip poker.

She lifted the sheet and stared down at her body. She still had her bra and panties on. She crawled over to where Kyle was snoring next to the blaring radio. She pulled the covers off him. Dress shirt and boxers. Okay good sign.

She sat there for a moment staring at him, at his brown hair sticking up every which way in messy spikes. She swallowed. She shoved him off of her bed and he landed with a thump on the floor.

"God…my head…" He mumbled and she pulled the covers up over hers as he lifted his up off the carpet. "Maria…?"

"Shut up and go away, Kyle. Don't say anything don't do anything just go away. And put your pants on."

She listened for him, holding the sheet shut over her face. Did she feel different? She didn't feel different…what did she do…

"Maria…"

A tug on the sheet.

"Maria."

A harder one.

"Nothing happened, Deluca." She flung off the sheet and stared at him.

"Bull! Look at me!" He looked and blushed. He picked her dress up from the floor and handed it to her. "What happened?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing." She frowned as she buttoned up the buttons.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah…I think I'd remember…"

"We got drunk."

"Yeah."

"I kissed you."

"Yeah and I kissed you."

"That's really bad, Kyle. We're like related now…that's…that's like…Jerry Springer…Ricki Lake…Jenny Jones…Sally Jesse Rahp-"

"We didn't do it, Deluca. We kissed. We slept." He looked at the floor. "Anyway we're not really related. Just legally or whatever…"

"You're positive."

"Maria…"

"Okay just makin sure…" She watched him as he pulled on his pants and picked up his shoes. He stood and went to the door then stopped.

"Things aren't gonna be weird are they? I mean…between us…?"

"Nothing happened…so no…"

"Good…cause…that would suck."

"Yeah." She whispered. He opened the door and she stopped him with her voice. "Kyle…"

"Huh?"

"I had…fun." He smiled and shrugged.

"Me too…"

"But next time we hang out no bubbly. And no "poker" - take that last one anyway you want to…"

He smirked and closed the door gently behind him.

Maria collapsed back down on the bed. Her face felt hot. That had been embarrassing. What the hell had gotten into her? Only two men had ever seen her in her underwear and Alex was an accident. And Michael…well that had been during the heatwave sophomore year…

He'd walked in on her while she was changing at the end of a shift. She had been closing alone. She'd totally wanted it to happen. She'd been taking her time in the back knowing he was waiting for her in the restaurant. When he walked in he had just stopped and stared at her and she thought to herself that if he wanted her she wouldn't stop him. She had forgotten to lock the front door and a customer had come in for a piece of pie. She had scrambled to get her clothes on and Michael had gone to tell the customer that they were closed. He hadn't come back.

If he had they would've done it…Which is probably why he didn't come back…

Thank God nothing had happened with Kyle…it was bad enough that their parents were married but…to have sex and not have her first time be with…

She felt the tears coming and wiped at her eyes before they fell.

If she went on with that train of thought she'd be a virgin forever. She wasn't saving herself for Michael.

There was no Michael.

He had fallen off the face of that flat earth.