Political Sabotage, Czechoslovakian Style
By Kara (AnyaLindir@aol.com)

Disclaimer: These aren't mine *sniffle*, so please don't sue. I like my wonky little collection of My Little Ponies, and my Lego Castle. But if you want, you can have my college loans. Everyone of the first Roswellian Generation belongs to Mr. Katims and Ms. Metz and the WB. But the second generation--they're all mine and Dani's and the Radish Brethren's. :)

Dedicated to my sister and her friends, the original MB Mafia. What hoodlms.

*~*~*~*

To: StarGazr@aol.com (Claudi), jvalenti@calpoly.edu (Jamie)
From: nmguerin@nyu.edu

Subj: Czechs strike back

Hey, doveys. Mama just emailed me to tell me the latest scoop on the little ones. You've probably heard all of this already from Auntie Liz and Uncle Max, Claudi, but just in case the 'rents haven't clued you in to the latest escapade...

"Stephen, we can't do this." Molly leaned forward in the back seat of the jeep to yell in her brother's ear over the wind. "Anna, tell him! Tell him we can't do this. It's illegal."

Anna grinned at her best friend and almost twin from where she sat crammed in Stephen's lap in the front seat of the Jeep. "Molly, y'know no one can reason with Ste and Lee when they're in this mood. Besides..." Anna's beautiful face darkened into a fierce glare. "Andy Hilligan deserves it."

Stephen's arms tightened around her briefly--her protector had had a few run-ins with the quarterback over the past ten years. "You need to kick him in the nuts next time, Annabeth. If he ever touches you again..." His fist began to glow.

"Easy, Ste." His twin took his eyes off the road briefly to put his hand over Stephen's glowing fist. "That's why we take care of him now, once and for all." Leo's dark eyes caught his youngest sister's in the jeep's rearview mirror. "Besides, Molly Ky, it's only toilet paper. It's not like we're giving him a rash or melting his locker shut."

Molly snorted and refused to look at her brother. Some things never changed in the Guerin household.

Michael thumped out of the studio, looking tired and paint-stained as usual. Maria couldn't help chuckling at the alien she'd shared most of her life with.

"What're you laughing at?" A bit of her husband's old wounded look appeared in his dark eyes. Then he looked around, as if noticing how quiet the house was. "Where are the kids?"

"At Izzy's tonight, remember? Mom's taking watching them so that she can 'bond with my beloved babies before they grow up and don't think I'm cool anymore?'" She put down the paper she'd been reading and walked towards him. "So we have the house to ourselves...all night." Maria ran her hands through his still spiky hair, and nibbled on his neck. "Think we can find something to do, spaceboy?"

She chuckled again as his arms snaked around her, and he proved that age meant nothing when it came to Czechoslovakian lust. Some things never changed in the Guerin house.

"So, what did Andy do to you, Annabeth? You never said." Matt leaned up against the passenger seat, trying to settle more comfortably between Molly and the huge box of toilet paper in the back seat beside him. He wasn't surprised at the protective way that Stephen hovered around her. That was Ste's way--he was just as protective as Uncle Michael and Aunt Maria. And everyone knew not to mess with the older Guerins--with any Guerin.

His baby sister was quiet for a long time as they sped along the lonely desert highway. Even in the dim light of the moon, she was beautiful. She looked just like their mother--same perfect profile, same curvy figure, same dark Czechoslovakian eyes. And he knew that Annabeth got a lot of flack for it. Even at fifteen, she had older men drooling and howling at her to until she cowered in fear against either him or Leo or Stephen. But she had poise and maturity for someone so young. They all did. It was part of being who they were.

"He touched you, didn't he?"

And from the way none of the others said anything, he knew he was right. Molly curled up closer to him, tightening her hand in his, and leaning her curly brown head on his shoulder. "He didn't hurt her though, Matt."

His fists clenched up as he watched his little sister rest her head on their cousin's shoulder, and Stephen's arms tighten around her, enclosing her in a protective circle. "Y'know how Deputy Valenti gave that talk at school about not stealing signs for the school board campaign? And since Ms. Cohen is running, and Ms. Cohen hates Mrs. Hilligan...what if we did a little decorating job on Andy's lawn?"

And from the Whitman grin on Anna's face, Matt knew that at least one person liked his idea...

"There's another one!" They coasted down La Seda quietly, the jeep being propelled by a little Czechoslovakian boost to keep it quiet. "Can you get it, Anna?"

Anna grabbed Molly's hand, and the two concentrated on the sign that was stuck into the front lawn. The sign began to shudder a little until it slid smoothly out of the ground.

"Grab it, Matt!"

Matt grabbed the hovering sign and jumped back into the Jeep. "How many is that now, 15? 20?"

Stephen looked into the back seat at the growing pile. "Whaddaya think, Lee? Five more?"

Molly sat back in Matt's lap as the Jeep took off down the block. "Let's get 25 to make it a nice even number, Stephen." Her older brother turned back to grin at her--that same Guerin grin that they all shared.

"I think you're gonna make Nik proud, Molly Ky." Her brother reached out his hand to touch her cheek. "Maybe Dad was wrong about you being left on our doorstep after all."

Molly smacked his hand away with a grin. "Careful, spaceboy. I--"

And then they heard the telltale sound of a siren behind them...

"Mmm, cheesehead, stay right there...mmm, you still know the good spots, oh, this is so uncharacteristic..."

Michael lifted up his lips and looked at his wife briefly, an expression of total relaxation on her pixie face. He grinned. "You know you talk too much, right?" His voice was husky.

She glared at him as best she could. "Stupid spaceboy who can't---ummmmmmm, good..."

*ringring*

Maria let out a string of curses. "If that's my mother...Stay right there, spaceboy. We're not done yet." She grabbed the phone. "What?"

Michael rested his chin on her still flat belly, watching the changing expressions on her face with amusement. Even after all these years, Maria was still as easy to read as a book. And as dramatic as she'd always been.

"Yes, Deputy, I understand...we'll be right there..."

She threw the cordless across the room, and Michael winced as it hit the wall with a crunch. That was the fifth cordless they'd gone through since January.

"So who did what now?"

Maria rolled her eyes as she slipped out from underneath him and began to get dressed. "Apparently my mother wasn't watching the kids as well as she thought she was. They snuck out past curfew and were caught speeding by Beth Valenti."

"And?" Michael rolled off the bed after her, and grabbed his jeans off the floor. "They're our kids. They must've done something more than that."

That demented tinkerbell grin quirked at his wife's mouth. "Only what Gracie Cohen is calling political espionage, cheesehead." She rolled her eyes. "Some things never change in Roswell..."

Matt sat on the bench between his sister and Molly, head buried in his hands. Six cop cars. It was so slow in dinky little Roswell, NM, that Deputy Valenti had called in five back-up cars. How were they supposed to know that Maggie Hilligan had been defacing Gracie Cohen's signs? Like they would know about some stupid feud that started back in high school. And it didn't make it any better that he and Anna were Whitmans, since Gracie and Maggie had hated his mom, ever since their friendship died back in 2000...right around the time the secret came out.

Molly put her arms around him, tucking her head against his shoulder. "It'll be all right. We won't get into too much trouble. Mama won't be mad. And Auntie Izzy's not too scary when she's lecturing..." She gently pried his hands off of his face. "Grandma's gonna get most of it, since she was supposed to be watching us, and Uncle Jim was over..."

He smiled halfheartedly. "Don't let your mom hear you call Mr. Valenti that." He pulled her closer, kissing the top of her head. "I'm not worried about our parents. I'm worried about if Ms. Cohen presses charges..."

"Six cop cars. Six. That's gotta be a new record for us, Ste."

"Better than the three cop cars after we took the cow from the Dairy Queen for a ride two months ago, Lee."

"Don't forget when we got the Jeep into the parade for when Senator Raddish came to visit her home town."

And the twins grinned identical grins, looking like exact copies of a spiky-haired hooligan from almost thirty years before.

"We need to think of more ideas, Lee. We're losing our touch."

Just as Anna was falling asleep on Stephen's shoulder, and Molly and Matt were getting into a bit of serious face-sucking, the door to the Sheriff's station was flung open.

"We're dead."

Anna shot up, Matt and Molly broke apart, and the five teens stared sheepishly at the entire older generation of their large family.

"We'll talk to you later," Molly's mom said, giving them a cold glare. Molly caught the twitch of her lips though, so she knew that Mama couldn't be too mad...

And the eight adults filed into Sheriff Valenti's office, and the door shut ominously behind them.

Kyle watched the Whitmans, Evanses, Guerins, and his father and Amy DeLuca file into his office. Max, Alex, and his father both chivalrously gave three of the room's four chairs to their ladies, while Michael thumped into the fourth, pulling Maria into his lap. Michael and Maria had always made their own way...

He looked to his wife, who stood at attention behind him. Beth was still beautiful, even after all these years on the force. And luckily, it had been a quiet night. If any of the feds had been out... He was getting too old for this job. Roswell had been quiet for years, and he wanted to keep it that way...

"So, what'd they do now?" Michael wore his usual scowl on his face. For the longest time, Kyle had wondered if the man had any other expressions.

"Stole signs, with the intent to vandalize personal property, not to mention speeding down a residential street, and driving without seatbelts in an open air vehicle that I sincerely doubt is legal to have on the road. And did I mention two of your daughters riding in two of your sons' laps?" Kyle threw the police reports across the desk at the adults sitting on the other side. "Luckily, no one was hurt, though Grace Cohen wants all five of your hooligans in Vista Verde by morning."

The adults facing him were silent for a while as they passed the police reports along. After a while, Kyle noticed that Max had started to shake, his hands covering his face. "You okay, Evans?" He knew that his old nemesis was as paranoid as possible--and with good reason.

A muffled snort was his answer. Kyle realized that Max was quietly laughing himself to death.

"So Gracie is accusing our kids of political espionage?" Michael threw the reports on the desk and glared at the man standing next to him. "Shut up, Maxwell. Get a grip."

Another snicker broke free. Max leaned back against the wall, tears streaming down his cheeks. "I'm sorry..." he wheezed. "It's just...so typical..."

Liz poked her husband. "I'm guessing you're forgetting when our daughter tried to stage a political uprising and free the frogs?" she teased him gently.

"I'm guessing they were going to the Hilligan's, right?" Maria leaned back against her husband's chest, massaging clenched fists between her hands. "Stephen was kicking walls and muttering about something yesterday." She looked to Isabel and Alex on her other side. "I think it had something to do with Anna, and why Matt came home with a black eye last week..."

Isabel looked up at her husband, and he leaned down to kiss her gently. Kyle had never seen a more vulnerable look on the beautiful blonde's face. For a moment, he realized what it must've been like to grow up with horndogs like he'd been trying to get in her pants every day of high school.

"And Gracie and Maggie are still convinced that I abandoned them to hang out with losers." Isabel managed a slight smile.

"And it doesn't help that Andy Hilligan has about as big a brain as his father did." Alex gave Kyle a long look that made the sheriff feel ashamed of the bastard he'd been growing up.

"I'm sorry, Alex. Sorry for Tommy and Paulie and Rodney...beating you guys up every week in elementary school..."

"Beating Max up Sophomore year." Michael glared at him. "Your son dating my daughter..."

Kyle chuckled. "You didn't have to melt my locker shut, Guerin. And Maria hit me just as many times as I hit you two. And as for Jamie and Nicole...we can talk about later." He sighed. "But we do have some serious charges to deal with, not to mention a severely pissed school teacher who's ready to press charges..."

There was another burst of laughter as Max leaned against the wall, shaking.

"You find this funny, Evans?" His lips twitched.

"Did you really need six cop cars, Kyle? There are only five of them. They aren't that dangerous." Max's face was solemn for a moment. "They didn't..."

Kyle shook his head. "No...mischief." Luckily, none of the officers had seen any of the teens using powers. The seven adults who knew the Czechoslovakian secret sighed in relief. "But I would like to know who was supposed to be watching the kids tonight. They were out past curfew..."

And all heads turned to look at Amy DeLuca, who still looked obscenely young for her age.

And then his dad blushed. Kyle groaned.

"You Valentis always arrest innocent people." Amy stood up and planted her hands on her hips. Maria groaned as she recognized a sign of another one of her mother's tirades. Amy shot a look at the former sheriff, who blushed. "Did your son think my granddaughters were cute or something, Jim?"

And Max laughed so hard that he cried. Liz glared at him, thwapping him lightly. "Max, stop it!" But she was smiling a little too.

"That reminds me, Mom. Why weren't you watching the kids tonight?" Maria turned her fierce Maria glare to her mother, who immediately found the pictures of Jamie and Nicole on the wall of Kyle's office fascinating to look at. "Jim?"

And to both Maria and Kyle's dismay, the older man blushed. Maria groaned. "I thought I was supposed to be the horndog." She rolled her eyes. "Apparently it runs in the family..."

Kyle actually exchanged a sympathetic look with Michael, whom he knew would be his future in-law...in one way or another.

"It's not too late, Kyle. You can still escape it." There was a melancholy look on the spiky-haired man's face.

Kyle managed a tightlipped smile. "Somehow I don't think so, Guerin..."

The five teens sat on the hard wooden bench outside the door, wondering what was going on in the small office. They heard the occasional bark of laughter, and the sound of someone crying, but no tangible words. Finally, the door opened, and the ten adults filed out. Each teen managed to wear a look of utmost contrition as they awaited their fate.

"I managed to convince Ms. Cohen that you weren't deliberately out to sabotage her campaign, but she expects a personal phonecall from all of you in the morning." The sheriff gave each of them a stern look. "There is a ticket for driving without seatbelts, as well as speeding that needs to be taken care of, and if memory serves correct, that puts you at three speeding violations, Mr. Guerin." He turned to Leo. "I'll see you in my office for traffic school this Saturday at 8 am."

"The rest of your punishment will be dealt with at home." Alex's look was equally as fierce, but his face softened when his look finally reached his daughter. "Annabeth, if there's ever trouble with a boy again..." He hugged her close, and Kyle noticed that the youngest Whitman was almost as tall as her father. "Hurricane DeLuca can strike again, baby."

Anna managed a small smile as she huddled in her father's arms. "I know, Daddy."

Beth Valenti leaned against her husband as they watched the teens walk out with their families, Michael Guerin and his sons already arguing over who would keep custody of the Jeep during their grounding. Kyle dropped a gentle kiss on her forehead, feeling the weight of twenty lifetimes suddenly lifting off of his shoulders.

"Those boys will be the death of me, if Michael Guerin doesn't beat them to it."

His wife chuckled. "Why are you so worried, Kyle? They're just boys--just like you were, just like Jamie is."

But his wife could never understand how easy it would be for those two boys to endanger the lives of everyone in town. Just as his father had before him, Kyle Valenti had inherited more of a burden when he took up the job of protecting the peace in Roswell, NM. The more things changed, the more they stayed the same--especially when it concerned a Guerin...

...and that's the story. I've attached copies of the stories that ran in the newspaper. Notice that Grace Cohen called the kids 'political saboteurs' and 'communist throwbacks' about five or six different times. Leo swears he's going to keep copies of all the articles in his scholarship notebook to show MIT. I'm just glad they weren't caught using powers or anything. That could get us all killed...

But Mama and Daddy have hung one of the signs in the living room, right next to that big painting Daddy did of Mama and the twins before Molly Ky was born. Just as a reminder that revenge is sweet, as long as we don't get too creative.

And don't give me that look, Claudia Isabel. I haven't given anyone a rash in years.

Kisses and my love to both of you,
Nicole