Disclaimer: I don't own anything have to do with the excellent show Roswell. Please don't sue.

Spoilers: This is up to "The Toy House," not including any episodes after that.

Rating: PG (for some swearing)

***

The weird part was that she had once led a relatively normal life. She was sixteen, she went to high school, she had a best friend, a job, a mother who lent her a red VW Jetta as often as she needed.

Maria DeLuca was a pretty typical girl. She had always considered herself the “wacky sidekick” to Liz Parker, Miss All-American Scientist herself. In the sitcom of life, Maria was Kimmy Gibler. Even after Max Evans had healed Liz that day in September, Maria had played the role of crazy best friend rather well.

But then the cosmos, fate, God, SOMETHING, had thrown Michael Guerin into her life…and that life as she knew it changed forever…

She really should have known better than to get involved with someone like him…besides the whole “alien life form” thing, there was the fact that he was a loner, someone who rarely came to school, broodingly handsome…the list went on and on. One look at Michael and you could tell that he was trouble. So really, she rationalized, she deserved her broken heart.

And broken it was, there was no doubt about that…She had always wondered what it would be like to have one, but nothing could have prepared her for the actual event. When she had left the rave that night, she had had a physical reaction to his words…she stood outside the soap factory and threw up. When she noticed that there were others looking concernedly at her, she quickly gave a weak smile and started to walk home. She didn’t want or need anyone coming over to her, thinking she had had too much to drink. Maria was in no state to talk to anybody.

The next few days were torture. Maria couldn’t get to sleep at night, the scene between her and Michael playing out over and over in her mind. She would drift off at about 1 a.m., only to wake up at four, and be unable to fall back asleep. All she could think about was him, how he had hurt her, how angry she was with him, how much she wanted him. Also, how she had to stay away from him. She couldn’t let him hurt her again!

…her dad had already walked out on her family, she wasn’t going to let Michael in any more.

Then, Michael got sick, and all at once, Maria was more terrified than any other time in her life. Was he going to die? What would she do without him? The possibility that he would leave had always been in the back of her mind, hell, sometimes, she even wished that that damn spaceship would come and take him right out of her life…but when it came down to it, she never actually thought that she was going to LOSE him.

As she sat by him and he began covering himself with the webbing, she realized, for better or for worse, that she would do anything to help him…even let him back in if that is what it would take for him to just get better. So that’s what she did.

And for a few seconds, it seemed as if it had been worth it. That kiss in the spirit realm, it was full of contrasts, pure yet passionate, cautious yet with a hint of all that he wanted from her. Then, when he had woken up…she looked at him with relief and hope…and he had hugged MAX.

Afterwards, it was almost as bad as when he was so cold to her at the rave. Almost, because she did have the memory of that kiss. Maria kept waiting for Michael to acknowledge that she had helped him get better. When he tried to act as though nothing had changed between them, she lost it. No way was this boy going to be able to hurt her again. She put up her barriers and ignored him. And as weird as it appeared, it seemed to be making Michael want her even more.

Finally, he forced to talk to him. She let all of her pent up frustration fly out at him…and made him actually realize that it wasn’t all about just the three aliens, that there were others involved as well.

Then a few days later, after that amazing napkin holder, after it was so apparent to her that he did have feelings for her, (he wasn’t doing anything to thank Alex or Liz, was he?), he found a way to break her heart all over again.

So Maria had made a decision. She was going to stay away from Mr. Stonewall. Okay, so it wasn’t exactly her decision, but she was going along with it.

Because it was what he wanted, because it hurt too much to be near him and know that she had so many feelings for him, because she knew now that he had feelings for her too, because she felt so angry with him for keeping them apart. There were so many reasons to stay away that she just went with it, ignoring the fact that there was one important reason that she shouldn’t stay away: Maria loved Michael.

***

Maria was walking down the halls of West Roswell High. It was 3:00 and she was just leaving a meeting with her English teacher. It was funny how when you tried to avoid thinking about something that was all-consuming, you would do anything, and for Maria that included throwing herself into her work. They were studying John Donne in English and Maria wasn’t sure if she quite understood everything that was going on in his poems. So, uncharacteristically, she had actually made an appointment with Mrs. Abraham to make sure she really got it.

That was how she found herself walking down the almost-deserted hallways of her school. She passed by the Biology room and noticed the aquarium that had been set up in the hallway. Maria hadn’t had a chance to look at the aquarium since it had been set up, because she always had History right after Bio and it was all the way across the quad.

So she took the time now to really look at the aquarium. She kneeled in front of it and just stared at it. At first, it appeared that there were only a few angel fish swimming around, but when you took the time to really appreciate the tank, you noticed that it was teeming with life: snails clung to rocks, sea anemones waved gently, hermit crabs busily scurried across the sand. It was like a whole secret world right there in the middle of school, and she had never even really noticed it. Kind of like how Max, Isabel, and Michael had been there all along, and she had never really noticed how different they were…she shook her head.

She couldn’t let herself start thinking about Michael or else the tears that she wanted to avoid would begin welling up. She looked at her watch and saw that it was already 3:30 and she had to be at work by 4. She sighed and picked up her backpack, glancing back one last time at the tank before she exited the school.

***

Maria wasn’t the only student who was still at school. Michael had stayed after to discuss his reluctance to attend class regularly with the principal. He was stalking angrily towards his locker when something caused him to catch his breath and stop. Maria was kneeling in front of the aquarium, fascinated.

He stared, as fascinated with her as she was with the sea life. He liked to watch her, had always liked to watch her. Except now he could only do it surreptitiously, since he had basically ordered her to stay away from him and she seemed, for the first time ever, to be listening to him.

It’s for the best, he thought. You can’t be getting involved with anyone here. He frowned, wishing for a second that things could be different.

Just then, she got up, so he ducked into the nearby Bio room. He might like to watch her, but she sure as hell couldn’t know that.

***

Michael lay on his cot that night, unable to sleep. This was a usual occurrence for him, although the reason for his insomnia was far from normal this evening. He kept replaying what had happened this afternoon in his head. Maria had looked peaceful, an expression Michael rarely saw on her face these days. He had actually been about to say something to her, when, abruptly, her face had clouded over.

That was a more familiar expression to Michael. The one that said the person was closing off her emotions, struggling for control over the turbulence inside her. He saw it a lot, when he stared in the mirror.

But why would Maria have to shut off her emotions? It alarmed him. One of the things that he had been attracted to in Maria was her complete openness. She was a vibrator and when Michael had used that term to describe her, he had meant that her emotions just vibrated from her. She was easy to read, which he found refreshing. He was never like that. He kept everything bottled up, afraid to let anyone in. What if they didn’t like what they found? So he never gave anyone the chance.

He turned over on his cot and shut his eyes, hoping that sleep would come. However, the only thing he saw when he shut his eyelids was that expression on Maria’s face. It filled his mind and for a second, he forgot that he wasn’t supposed to think about her. He just did and it calmed him down.

Then he came to his senses and opened his eyes. No thinking about Maria, that just led to problems. But, it bugged him…what had she been thinking about that caused such sadness? More than anything, Michael wanted Maria to be happy. In the short time that he had been with her, she had made him happier than anything in a long time.

Frustrated, he sat up and grabbed his shoes. Ignoring the voice that told him this was wrong, he opened the window and left. He was going to find out what had been bothering her.

***

Across town, Maria was laying on her bed, remembering the animals that she had watched today. She figured that that must be what the beach was like. She had never been to the beach, her mother had always said that there was enough sand with the desert, why would they want to go on vacation to more sand? But, Maria had always wondered, wistfully, what it would be like to stand on the edge of the ocean, sand in her toes, seashells beside her.

She turned to look at the stars outside her window. She found a bright star, and shutting her eyes, wished that someday she would get to go to a real beach.

When she opened her eyes, she gasped as she looked deep into the tortured gaze of Michael Guerin himself. They stared at each other through the window for a long minute, their eyes saying things that their mouths had never dared to. Maria slowly unlatched the window and against her better judgment, let Michael into her room.

He stepped through the window, his eyes never leaving her face. Maria was looking at him in amazement, like he was a phantom…or an alien being. What is he doing here? she thought to herself. He can’t just show up here in the middle of the night. He gave up that right a while ago.

As her thoughts continued in this vein, her face betrayed the conflicting feelings and her attempts to squelch them.

Michael couldn’t handle seeing that same blank expression that had troubled him all evening, but neither could he bring himself to question what she was thinking. So he interacted with her in the way that seemed instinctual…he closed the short distance between them and kissed her, the same kind of kiss that they had exchanged in his vision.

He was hit with a wave of images and emotions as soon as his lips connected with hers. He saw her standing in front of the aquarium, enchanted by the alternate world she saw. He felt her wonder at what it would be like to be somewhere that was completely foreign. And he felt her attempts to keep her feelings of anger and sadness under control as her thoughts turned towards him. HE was the cause of her troubling expression.

He pulled away from her, suddenly, and searched her face. Her eyes were closed and she seemed peaceful for a moment.

And then Michael was felt another wave of emotions wash over him, as he realized that he had the power to both calm and torment the girl standing in front of him, who was now looking up at him with questioning eyes. This was why he had to stay away from Maria…he couldn’t handle all the conflicting emotions that being around her brought out in him. He slowly backed away and headed towards the window.

He looked at her once more before he left, and uttered the only verbal communication between the two. “I’m sorry.”

And with that he fled into the night, leaving Maria to try and deal with the aftermath of yet another confusing encounter with Michael.

***

Maria sat on her bed, numb. What the hell had that been all about? This was getting ridiculous! Every time she thought that she had her feelings about Michael sorted out and under control, he found some way to mix them up all over again. And that kiss!! She had forgotten how wonderful it felt to have his lips against hers.

She sat for a moment with her eyes closed, savoring the memory. But then she remembered what had really just happened. Michael Guerin had come into her room in the middle of the night, and without saying a word, kissed her, then left.

She was angry…who did he think he was? Was she just someone that he came to when he had “human urges?”

Maria shook her head. This just wasn’t fair, why couldn’t he be straightforward with her? She groaned and turned off the light. She wasn’t going to get anywhere thinking about this tonight.

***

Michael roamed the streets of Roswell, trying to deal with the emotions his midnight visit had stirred up in him. Why did it matter so much that he had upset Maria? And why was he strangely moved by the fact that she obviously had feelings for him? It was not like he had…he stopped dead in his tracks.

He had feelings for Maria, he realized. And not just “She’s cute, she’s got a great body, she’s fun to make out with” feelings. They were “I want her to be happy, she makes me happy, I think I love her” feelings.

Michael grimaced, as he then realized he had probably just hurt Maria deeply by kissing her with no explanation and then leaving. What could he do to remedy the situation? All of a sudden, he remembered the vision he had gotten when he kissed her, and he thought of a way to tell Maria that he loved her.

***

Maria awoke at the sound of insistent tapping on her window. She switched on a light and looked at the clock. It was 1:24 in the morning. Well, aren’t I quite the popular one tonight? she thought, as she went over to the window. She found herself, for the second time in two hours, staring at Michael Guerin.

He motioned impatiently for her to open the window. She bit her lip, as she internally debated whether or not to let him in. Finally, her heart won out over her head and she opened the window.

He came in and she stared at him, her arms crossed in front of her, for a few seconds, before finally hissing, “What are you doing here?”

Michael winced at the harsh tone in her voice. “Maria…” he began.

She cut him off. “Just who do you think you are? What right do you have barging into my room, not once but TWICE in the same night? If I remember correctly, you were the one who had to be a stonewall, so why do you have to keep confusing me? I am trying to do what you asked, to stay away from you, to get over you, but you are not making it easy on me…” her voice, which had started out loud and accusing, faded to a whisper as she realized that she was admitting to him that she still had feelings for him.

”I have to tell you something,” he said. She looked at him with a “go ahead” expression on her face. “But I can’t do it here. Would you mind coming with me somewhere?”

She was about to ask him why in hell she would want to go anywhere with him, when she caught the expression on his face. He looked like a little boy, so vulnerable. And when he said “Please,” with such a pleading tone, how could she refuse?

“All right,” she said. “Let me throw on some clothes and grab my mom’s keys, not that I know what she’ll say if she catches me leaving with her car at 1:30 in the morning…”

“That’s not necessary,” he interrupted, waving the keys to the Jeep in the air. “Okay, so Max wasn’t pleased that I woke him up right as he was going dreamwalking to visit Liz, but when I explained to him the situation, he agreed to lend me the Jeep.”

“Max is in on this plan? I am impressed, I must say. Okay, hold on while I get dressed.”

Maria ran into the bathroom and threw on a pair of jeans and a light sweater. She ran her fingers through her hair, muttering over what a mess it was. She caught a glimpse of her face in the mirror and noticed an excited gleam in her eyes.

No, she admonished herself. This probably doesn’t mean anything. He is most likely going to tell you that kissing you was a huge mistake and it will never happen again. Don’t get your hopes up.

She walked out of the bathroom, the by now familiar blank expression on her face. It made Michael feel all twisted inside when he saw it. Soon enough, he told himself. You’ll be able to make it go away.

He hopped out the window first and then caught her as she tripped. He felt a warmth spread through him at their closeness, and he almost couldn’t stop himself from kissing her again.

Control, he thought. This needs to be perfect.

They got in the Jeep and began driving to the other side of town. After about fifteen minutes, Michael turned to Maria and said, “I know this sounds corny, but would you mind closing your eyes? I think that this would be best as a surprise.”

She looked at him searchingly, convinced that he was planning on leaving her alone in the middle of the desert somewhere. When she saw only honesty in his eyes, she obediently shut her own.

They stopped soon thereafter and he placed his hand over her eyes to make sure that she wasn’t peeking. She shivered as his arms encircled her waist, while he helped her out of the car.

He grabbed her hand and lead her towards a place. She heard the click of a door as he used his normally uncontrollable powers to open it. He lead her inside a building. They walked for about five minutes, she still with her eyes closed, until abruptly he stopped.

He said, “Okay, you can look now.”

Maria slowly opened her eyes and caught her breath at the sight that she saw. A giant sea turtle was floating by, several little fish were weaving in and out around him, and a few jelly fish were lazily drifting. He had brought her to the New Mexico Aquarium, in the next town over.

She turned to him, happiness written across her face. “How did you know?” she asked him excitedly.

“I saw you today, in the hallway. You seemed to really like the fishtank at school, so I thought you might enjoy this.”

“But I didn’t see you…” she started.

“That’s because I didn’t want you to know that I was watching you,” he said.

She was about to say something more, when he held up his hand. He looked down at the ground and began speaking. “Maria, I am so sorry. I’m sorry for pushing you away as many times as I have. I’m sorry for causing you to be sad and angry. I’m sorry that you felt you had to bottle up your emotions because of me. And most of all, I’m sorry for not realizing sooner what should have been clear to me all along. You’ve done so much for me in the short time that I’ve known you and all I’ve done is wreak havoc on your life. I’m sorry about all of this. I brought you here because I wanted to tell you…” his voice trailed off as he lifted his eyes and saw her face.

No longer did a blank expression meet his eyes. Her eyes were shining with happiness and encouragement.

He swallowed and said, “I wanted to tell you, I love you,” as his eyes were glued to hers.

He didn’t need to hear her response. He could read from her beautiful, open expression that she felt the same way. This time, it was Maria who closed the distance between them, lifting her head to meet his lips for the second time in one night.

Back to Area 51 (Section II)