***

She watched her knee bounce up and down as the scent of flowers held in her crushing grip filled the car. She didn't normally let herself fidget like this, but she can't help it. She's nervous. Well not so much nervous, it was more like nauseating guilt. She looked over at Alex and wondered if he felt the same. It was a ritual coming here. Every Saturday for the past two years they would bring flowers, bring her up to speed on the events of their lives, and of course cry at the loss of someone they loved so dearly. This time was no different from all the other visits, but she knew it would be the last. She felt the tears coming already and tried to will them away.

She knows she should get out of the car and get it over with, but her leg is still shaking and the pit in her stomach grows even bigger. She takes in a sharp breath as she stares out the window, she doesn't think she can do this.

His hand stilled her knee and she offers him a silent thank you in the form of a smile. She thinks of how he's been there all this time, helping her and comforting her without hesitation. Holding her in his arms on the many nights she'd cried her self to sleep. He'd suffered too, and she'd returned the favor by being there for him. It had only happened once though; he'd only broken down and cried in front of her a single time. Besides that one incident he was always so strong, a solid base for her to latch herself onto when it seemed life didn't mean a thing any longer. Not when it was so fragile. Not when it could be taken away in an instant.

His hand moved from her leg and grasped hers, fingers interlacing.

Such a simple sign of affection, but it melted her heart every time.

Its what made her fall for him, the little things he was always doing for her.

"You okay?" He asks, his voice full of concern.

The gentle tone causes another smile and she nods.

"I just...can't believe we won't ever see her again."

"Me too," he replies somberly. "But its time to move on with our lives. We can't keep holding on to the past no matter how much we miss her."

She knows what he says is true. But it doesn't make it hurt any less.

"Come on," he says reaching over her lap an opening the door. "You should go."

She looks at him for a minute, studying the contours of his handsome face. She doesn't know what her life would be like if he hadn't been there for her. She doesn't like to think about that either, because the thought that always seems to follow makes her cry all over again.

"Need me to go with you?" He asks.

"It's okay," she replies. "I can do it."

"I'll be right here," he says reassuringly squeezing her hand.

"Thank you," she says quietly leaning over to kiss him.

She finds strength from his embrace and takes a deep breath before exiting the car. Lifting to flowers to her nose, she inhaled deeply as she passed through the gates of the 'Sacred Chimes' cemetery. Knowing the entire layout by heart, she headed straight for the lone grave underneath the birch tree.

A slight breeze whipped through her hair and she sat crouched on the grass. Her knee started bobbing up and down again as she thought of what exactly she wanted to say. She gently ran her fingers over the text chipped into the stone.

She smiled at the quote that Alex had come up with. Her parents thought the world of it and had it inscribed.

"Hey Lizzie," she said quietly. "You'll never guess who I saw the other day. Max Evans, you remember him? Tall, dark hair, really quiet? Anyway, he disappeared a few months after you...were gone. When that new girl showed up. I told you about her right? Kind of short, curly blonde locks, liked lots of sugar in everything? Her name was, um, Tess I think. Yeah that was it. Anyway, Max, this girl, his sister and their other friend just kind of vanished one day. I don't know what he's doing back. I never asked because we never really knew him that well, but I bet he stopped by to say hi to you. I always thought he had a little crush on you."

She smelled the flowers once more before pulling out a weed that had grown and laid them in front of the headstone.

"These are for you," she says resting them gently against the marble. "The guy at the flower shop calls them the Mr. Johnson special, being that its the same bouquet he always buys his wife when he screws up."

A soft chuckle.

"I'm sure he won't mind that they serve you a much more meaningful purpose."

She got quiet for a moment, fighting back the tears that always came in this place. She lets a few slip down her cheeks, the moisture of them chilled in the slight breeze. Knowing someone for practically your whole life made the fact that she was gone ten times harder than when anyone else she had known died. Her own family (besides her mother) wasn't as close as her friendship with Liz.

"So," she sniffled. "Kyle is dating Becky Goldstein now. You remember her; we had gym with her in ninth grade. She looks just like you. Come to think of it, Kyle has dated a lot of girls that look just like you. Weird. Guess you had that effect on people."

She took a deep breath, willing up the courage to say what she meant to say.

"We're leaving," she said softly. So softly she wasn't sure if she had said it aloud. "Alex and I both got accepted to colleges in LA. You know I've always wanted to go there. I got into Loyola, and Alex got into UCLA. I know you're proud of us."

A smile, as she knew her words rang true. Liz would be so proud of her.

"Oooh, I can't believe I almost forgot to tell you this!" She shouted. "Alex asked me to marry him. Of course I said yes. Now I know what you're thinking, we're way too young and blah, blah, blah. But he loves me and I love him.

She lightly taps the ring Alex gave her against the headstone.

"Beautiful isn't it?" She said somewhat wistful. " I mean, who'd have thought it huh? Alex and me? We won't actually get married till after school, we're not that dumb."

Another small grin as she imagines Liz's reaction to her declaration of love for their best friend since grade school.

"I know you can see us Liz, how happy we are together. How happy he makes me. I know that's all you'd want for me is to be happy, so I'm not going to pass this chance up Liz. If you're passing has taught me anything it's that life is short and we'd better make the most of what we've got. I've got him and he has me. He was there when you weren't and I...

The tears flowed freely as the ache of her passing began to weigh on her heart even after all this time.

"I miss you so much. I wish you were really here listening to me babble on about marriage. I wish you were here to fuss with me over my dress, I wish you could be there to be my bridesmaid. I wish you could have seen how handsome Alex looked in a tux at the prom. How I was beaming for days when we first made love. I know it's so passe to have your first time on prom night but it was just so perfect. I wish you were with us that night, but I know you were..."

"I think of that day all the time Liz," she admitted. "I can still see those two guys arguing...I can still hear the gunshot. I remember you on the floor, your uniform covered with your blood. I remember trying to stop it, but it wasn't enough, you were dying and I...I..."

She hunched over and pressed her face into the palms of her hands as the sobs shake her fragile form. She feels him even before his arms surround her, instantly calming her with their warmth. She leans back into him, and he rubs her back soothingly, softly cooing in her ear.

"Alex," she cried. "I could have done something, anything."

"There was nothing more you could have done," he replied firmly. "You tried your best to stop the bleeding, that's all she would have asked."

"I just miss her."

"I know," he said squeezing her tighter. "I do too."

They stayed like that for what felt like hours. It could have easily been a scene from two years prior, Maria crying in his arms while he silently willed her to be strong. She felt the love and protection radiate from him, and soon her tears dried and her sobs were silenced.

She lifted her head from his shoulder and stared deeply into his eyes before pulling him into a kiss.

"Thank you," she said.

He smiled in return and looked to his fallen friend's grave.

"Liz," he said quietly. "This is our last meeting here. When we leave for college we..." He hangs his head in sadness. "We won't be coming back. This town, our home, is nothing but memories. Its time to grow up and move on."

"We'll never forget you," Maria said.

"Never," Alex agreed. "Good bye Liz."

"We'll always love you," Maria added.

"Always," they both said.

They stood, taking the sight of her grave in one last time. Tears streaming down both their cheeks. They didn't want to leave her behind, but there was nothing more they could do. The past wasn't being left behind, but the call of the future sang to them, inviting them into a life where they could feel whole once again. Out of Roswell and the shadows of pain from a lost friend.

She looked to him, as she had the past two years, seeing the kind caring man he was growing to be. Grateful once again for having him in her life. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that he was the one she wished to spend the rest of her life with.

"I love you Alex," she said.

"I love you too."

She took Alex's hand in hers as they walked back towards the gates, leaning into him as the last of her tears ran dry. He kissed her forehead as they walked, and she sighed. Good-byes were always hard, but final good-byes... They felt as if you're insides were a hollow shell wandering through space, and the void of knowing nothing would ever be as it was.

They'd get through it.

After all....

They had each other.

Back to Area 51 (Section IV)