Rating: PG

Category: Max/Liz, but some action for the other couples too.

Disclaimers: They’re mine, I tell you! All mine! No, seriously, if they really were mine, I would be playing Liz and Shiri would be out of the picture...so don’t sue me. To everybody who is actually involved with Roswell, I bow at your feet!

Distribution: Just ask me first

Author’s Note: Guys this is my first fanfic so please be nice to me! I NEED feedback. I’m planning a sequel, but it will only be posted if I get enough positive responses to this story. And Brenna.....aren’t you surprised!! Thanks for all of your “help” in writing this story (HA! Like you did anything. Just kidding, I love ya hun). I hope you like it.

***

“As I was saying,” Mr. Baker continued, “your test tomorrow will be worth 160 points. It’s a lot, I know, but there is a lot of information in it. There will be 50 multiple choice questions, 10 short answer questions, and two essays. I will, however, give you the opportunity to choose to write about only one of the two essays. Now, the test will cover the basic principles and foundations the social system as it is today, as well as how it was at the beginning of last century.....”

Liz tried to take notes on what Mr. Baker was telling them, but it was if his words went in one ear and out the other. She couldn’t even remember what he was talking about long enough to jot it down on her paper. Sighing, she closed her notebook and gave up trying. She would ask Max for the notes later. Max....just thinking about him brought a small smile to her lips. What she wouldn’t give to be alone with him right now. She glanced at the clock, which was moving at an agonizingly slow rate. The history room seemed to be growing stuffier by the minute. Liz sighed as she tapped her pen on her desk. Tap, tap. The blue cap hit the wooden surface lightly over and over again in a hypnotizing rhythm. Tap, tap. When is this class going to be over? she wondered. I can’t sit here much longer. She absently ran her left hand through her hair. The right still held the pen, which continued its rhythm on the glossy brown surface.

“Miss Parker? Are you with us?”

The rhythm stopped abruptly as Liz’s head snapped up. “Sorry.”

The teacher frowned at her empty desk. “I certainly hope you’re ready for this test, Miss Parker. You seem to be confident enough, seeing as you haven’t copied down anything that I’ve just said.” Liz blushed. “Let’s just hope you’re not surprised tomorrow,” he warned her.

“Um, right, Mr. Baker. Sorry,” she apologized again, opening her notebook and pretending to listen. She snuck a glance over at Maria, who was sitting beside her.

Maria was looking at her with a puzzled expression on her face. “What’s wrong?” she mouthed silently to Liz.

Liz shook her head almost imperceptibly, feeling Mr. Baker’s beady eyes staring at her. “Later,” she mouthed back.

***

As soon as class ended, Maria turned to her. “Liz, is something wrong? I mean, you’re usually asking a hundred questions and writing down every word he says. But we have a huge test tomorrow and you didn’t even listen to a single word. You’d better stay on top, you know. I’m warning you, I’m counting on this valedictorian thing happening. I mean, if I have to listen to that idiot Chris Gray make his “this is a stepping stone in the river of our lives” speech he’s been preparing since the fifth grade, I think I’ll puke. Seriously, Liz--”

“Maria! Stop!” Liz almost shouted. Maria’s mouth snapped shut. Liz had to grin at the look of anxiety on her face. “I just can’t pay attention today,” Liz told her. “I don’t know what it is. I just want to lie down or something, and listening to Mr. Baker drone on and on is just, like, impossible.”

“Can’t argue there,” Maria remarked.

Just then Max appeared behind them. “Hey, Liz. Hey, Maria.”

The girls turned. “Oh, hi, Max,” Liz greeted him with a shy smile.

He smiled back. “Ready for the test tomorrow?”

She groaned. “God, not even close. I don’t know a thing that’s on it, and I absolutely couldn’t pay attention to a word he said all period. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“You guys could come over to my house to study tonight,” he offered. “Isabel and I were going to study together--she has him 6th period.”

“Really?” Liz’s smile widened. “That would be great.”

“Do you want to invite Alex, too?” Max asked, remembering the other member of their group. “I don’t want him to be left out or anything.”

Liz shook her head. “He’s taking World Cultures.”

“Oh, OK, well then I guess it’s just the five of us. Is 7:30 OK?” he asked her.

“It’s perfect.” ***

(That night, 8:30, at Max and Isabel’s house)

“OK, so Isabel, just finish that page and then we can go over that other sheet. Michael, what are you doing?”

Max was staring at Michael, who was tossing a glass paperweight back and forth from hand to hand. He was sitting on the couch, next to Liz. Max and Maria were bent over the coffee table, sorting through the materials, and Isabel was on the floor. They had pretty much dragged Michael over to the Evans’ so that he could possibly have a chance at passing history this semester. He had not been overly excited, but he had agreed to come over to Max and Isabel’s house at 7:30 to study.

Michael looked up at him. “I’m throwing this paperweight around.”

“I can see that. Do you think you could not do that? Thank you.” Max looked over at Liz. “Liz, are you OK?”

“Hmm?” she looked up, yawning.

“Are you OK?” he repeated. “You’ve been really silent all night.”

“Oh. Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just....tired.”

“And hungry,” Maria piped up. “Any chance of taking a break to eat?”

“Good idea,” Michael said, immediately getting to his feet. “I’ll go look for some food.” He quickly strode off to the kitchen, eager to get away from the working environment.

“I’ll go, too,” Liz offered, slowly climbing to her feet. Max watched her, concerned, as she followed Michael. She seemed distant, like her mind was somewhere else.

Isabel stood up and stretched. “I’m done with this. A snack sounds good to me, too. I’ll go help them as soon as I go to the bathroom,” she told Max, heading down the hallway.

Michael was rummaging through the pantry. “Chips, pretzels....oh look, Cheetos.” He set the bags on the table and opened the refrigerator. “Do you think everyone wants soda?”

“Probably,” Liz replied, struggling to keep her mind on the task at hand. Why couldn’t she stay awake?

“Go fill up some glasses with ice,” Michael instructed her. He handed her an ice tray from the freezer and began pulling out cans of soda.

Liz pulled five glasses out of the cabinet and began to put them down one by one. Suddenly her hand started to shake. The last glass slipped from her fingers and shattered on the floor.

“What the--” Michael turned in time to see her eyes meet with his for an instant. Her face paled to an unnatural shade of white. She took an unsteady step backwards, as if trying to regain her balance. He saw her struggle to hold on, but she was slipping. Her legs gave out and he rushed to catch her just before she hit the ground.

“Oh, my God.” Isabel was standing in the doorway.

Michael looked up at her. “Get Max,” he barked, his voice clipped with fear.

Isabel, paralyzed with fear, managed to turn. “Max!” she shrieked. What is going on? She didn’t know what to do. She looked back in the kitchen, where Michael had lifted Liz up and was walking towards the family room.

Max heard Isabel’s shrill cry. His head snapped up, and panic raced through him. Stumbling to his feet, he sprinted towards the kitchen, with Maria right behind him. Liz... He knew something was wrong. Oh God oh God....please...no.... Suddenly he reached the door and saw what was going on. His heart stopped, and for an instant he thought he would black out himself.

“Liz!” he heard Maria’s panicked voice in his ear. He couldn’t think straight, couldn’t breathe....Come on, Max, do something. He forced air into his lungs.

“Get her back into the family room. Lay her on the couch, maybe we can wake her up.” His voice shook slightly as he tried to give directions, his head spinning.

“I am.” Michael was trying to move out of the kitchen.

“Here.” Max took Liz from Michael’s arms. God, she felt so small and helpless. Frantically, he carried her into the family room and laid her on the couch as gently as he could. He knelt down beside her and took her hand in his. “Liz?”

“I’ll go get some water,” Isabel offered. He barely even heard her. Maria and Michael were standing behind him. Maria’s eyes were full of tears. “Liz, can you hear me?” She didn’t move. “Liz, answer me.” He was pleading with her. What was wrong? She has to wake up, she has to...

Suddenly he felt her fingers tighten slightly around his. His breath caught in his throat. “Liz?” It was barely even a whisper.

“Max?” The soft, faint voice was barely audible.

“I’m here,” he told her, relief flooding his body. “It’s OK, Liz.” He squeezed her hand.

She opened her eyes further. “Maria?”

“Yeah.” Maria cleared her throat and stepped forward, wiping her eyes.

Liz’s eyes traveled frantically around the sea of faces looking down at her. “What happened?”

Michael spoke up. “You fainted, Liz. Next time you don’t like the Evans’ glassware, just tell them.”

Her eyes were confused. They looked at Michael, traveled over to Maria, and finally settled on Max. “Fainted?”

Max, who was still clutching her hand, loosened his grip a little and moved his thumb across her hand reassuringly. “Yeah.”

“Why?”

A faint smile brushed his lips. “I don’t know, Liz. One minute you were getting stuff from the kitchen, and the next minute I heard glass breaking and Isabel calling my name. Anyway, you’re going home. I’ll take you....” he looked up, “if that’s OK with everyone.”

Isabel set a glass of water down on the coffee table and nodded. “I think we’re done.” Michael and Maria murmured their agreement.

“Good. Then can you guys clean this stuff up while I take Liz home?”

“Sure, Max.” Michael was looking a little shaken up.

“Here.” Max helped Liz into a sitting position. “Drink this first.” He handed her the water, which she sipped slowly. When she was done, he set the glass back down on the coffee table. “I’ll go get your coat,” he said as she stood up.

Maria moved over to Liz’s side as Max headed towards the closet. “Liz, what’s wrong?” she asked her friend, her eyes filled with worry.

“I don’t know,” Liz replied softly. “It’s probably nothing, Maria. Don’t worry about it. I....I probably just need some rest.”

Maria nodded, attempting to look confident. “I’m sure that’s it,” she told her friend, trying not to let the fear in her voice show. “Go home, Liz. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Liz gave her a weak smile. “Bye, Maria.”

“Bye,” Maria replied, giving her a hug.

Max entered the room with Liz’s jacket. “OK,” he told the others as he helped her into it. “I’ll be back in five minutes.” Isabel and Michael nodded. The two of them left, Max leading Liz out the door with his hand on her back.

Michael glanced over at Maria, who was staring after them with an anxious look on her face. “You OK?” he asked.

She looked up at him. “Oh, yeah. I’m fine. Just...worried.”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine,” Michael consoled her, his voice lacking the harsh tone that it usually had.

Maria gave a slight nod of her head. Of course Liz would be fine. Why wouldn’t she be?

***

Max pulled the Jeep to a stop in front of Liz’s home. He had kept an eye on her the whole way over, making sure everything was all right. She seemed fine, just sleepy. Struggling to keep from yawning, she turned to him.

“Thanks, Max,” she started. “For everything. Thanks for having me over, and for--for taking care of me, and for driving me home.”

“Sure,” Max replied. He didn’t know what else to say. A thousand words were running through his head, but none of them seemed right.

“I’m really sorry,” she told him, her eyes gazing up at his face. “About the glass, and about making that whole scene--”

“Shh. Don’t worry about it. Liz, there’s nothing to be sorry about. Do you really think it was your fault?” She looked down at the seat shyly, and he reached over to brush away a piece of hair that fell over her eyes. “Just get some sleep, OK? I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

She looked up, her gaze meeting his. She opened her mouth as if about to say something, but decided against it and closed it again. “Goodnight,” she whispered.

He smiled at her, hoping it would disguise the fear in his eyes. “Goodnight, Liz.”

She climbed out of the car and began walking towards her door. Max watched her, his throat tightening. If anything were to happen to her..... Get a grip, he told himself. Nothing is wrong. You’re overreacting, that’s all. Taking a deep breath, he restarted the car. Liz turned and gave him a slight wave, then stepped inside the door. He waved back and turned the car towards home.

***

The next day in school, Max heard someone calling his name. He recognized Maria’s voice and turned, scanning the crowd to find her.

“Max!” she ran to his side.

“Hey,” he greeted her, a little taken aback. “What’s going on?”

“Have you talked to Liz?” she asked him.

At the mention of her name, a weight closed down upon his chest. “No. Why, what happened?”

“Nothing,” Maria assured him. “It’s just that she’s not in school today, and Liz never misses school. I thought that maybe she had said something when you drove her home last night.”

“No,” Max shook his head. “I have no clue.”

“Oh. Well, maybe she has the flu or something. I’ll call her tonight and see what’s going on.”

“OK,” Max told her. “Tell me when you find something out.”

“Sure.” Maria walked off through the crowd, leaving Max standing alone.

***

Later that night, Max was stretched out on his bed doing homework when he heard a knock at his window. He walked over and opened the curtains to see Liz standing there. His heart gave a little jump as he opened the window for her.

“Can I come in?”

“Sure,” he told her. She put one leg over the windowsill. “Don’t trip,” he warned her, a hint of amusement in his voice. She gave him an exasperated look, and he held out his hand to help her down. Hopping to the ground, she dusted herself off. “Feeling better?” he asked her, his voice filled with genuine concern.

“Um, yeah. Actually, I feel fine.”

“That’s good.” He breathed a sigh of relief.

“Max.”

“Yeah?” He looked at her. She looked uncomfortable, as if she had a secret she didn’t know whether or not to tell. When she hesitated, reached over and touched her shoulder. “Liz? What is it?”

“Max,” she began haltingly, “there’s something I have to tell you.”

“What?” he asked, his heart rate speeding up to a staccato rhythm.

“Well, today I went to the doctor, and he said...Max...he told me....um...” she looked around desperately, not wanting to finish. “They think I might be sick,” she blurted out.

Silence. Shock. For the second time in two days, Max felt as though he might pass out. His breathing sped up, insistent. He searched for something to say, but his mouth wouldn’t form the words. “Sick?” he finally managed to get out.

“Yeah, they don’t know what, they just think something might be wrong, they’re not really sure, they have to do some tests.....”

“Tests?” he repeated after her, feeling like a parrot.

“I’m going in tomorrow....” she looked at him. His face was a mixture of emotions, so jumbled up that she couldn’t fully read his expression. “Max, I’m sorry, I didn’t know what to do, I just came over...”

“No, no. It’s OK. Here. Come over here.” He found his voice and led her over to the bed. They sat down side by side on the edge of the quilt. Max took a deep breath, trying to sort through his thoughts. “Liz, how long has this been going on?”

“A couple of weeks,” she told him softly. “It hasn’t really been much, actually. I’ve just been really tired for while and I thought it was just a cold, or stress from school, or....something.”

“How do they know it’s not just the flu?”

“They don’t, Max. That’s why I’m going in for tests. They have to find out what it is. But they don’t think it’s the flu, Max.”

He closed his eyes tightly. Sick.....God, no. Please, anything but that. Anything. Opening his eyes, he took another deep breath and turned so that he was facing her. He took her hands in his and looked into her eyes. “Liz, I...I don’t really know what to say. I am so, so sorry that this is happening. I just feel so--” his voice broke and he looked away. Clearing his throat, he looked back at her “so bad that I didn’t notice anything--”

“Max, no,” she interrupted. “This is not your fault, Max. I didn’t even notice anything myself. I don’t want you to feel guilty over this, because there was no way anybody could have seen this coming.”

“I know,” he amended quickly. “I know. It’s just that.....God, Liz.” He wrapped his arms around her tightly and drew her body close to his. He felt her own arms encircle his waist, and she buried her face in his neck. A single tear slipped from her eye and slid down her cheek. He wanted so badly to kiss that tear away, to kiss away all of her problems and tell her that everything would be all right. There were so many things he felt like saying to her, but he couldn’t. He fought the stinging in his own eyes, knowing that seeing him break down wouldn’t exactly help her situation. He had to let her know that everything would be all right....he had to be strong... He blinked rapidly, forcing any tears back. “Liz,” he whispered into her hair, “you’re going to be fine. I know you are.” He rubbed her back comfortingly as he spoke, trying to calm her. “You go in there for your tests, and when they’re over I want to see you here telling me that everything is fine.” Although he tried to sound confident, no amount of pretending could disguise the anguish in his voice. “Please tell me, Liz. Let me know whenever you find out.”

Liz wrapped her arms around him even tighter, not wanting to ever let go. If she could only stay here in Max’s arms forever, everything would be OK. “I will,” she whispered back.

***

Liz wasn’t in school the next day or the one after that. On Friday afternoon, Max sprawled out on his bed with a sigh. He wanted to talk to Liz. No, wanted wasn’t the right word. He needed to talk to her. All day long he had thought of nothing but her. He was unable to concentrate on anything else. Michael and Isabel, sensing his distress, had pretty much left him alone. He hadn’t spoken with Maria, either. She was probably going through the same thing he was.

Max looked over at the phone by his bedside. Should he call her? He needed to talk to her. But at the same time he was afraid. Why hadn’t she called? Deep down, he knew the real reason he was scared. He didn’t want to hear bad news. His body almost began to shake with the very thought of it. He was absolutely terrified that if he called her, she would tell him the one thing he feared most. That something was wrong. That she would have to leave him.

Just call her, Max, he told himself. Be a man. He picked up the phone and dialed with shaking fingers. As it rang, he tried to psych himself up. She was fine. It probably turned out to be nothing and she stayed home today to make sure she was OK. It made sense, really. Staying home on Friday gave her a nice, long weekend to recuperate. Just then he heard a man’s voice on the other end of the phone. “Hello?”

“Uh--hi,” Max stammered. “Is, um, is Liz there?”

“No, she’s not.” The man’s tone suddenly took on a quality which Max couldn’t quite place. Sadness? “She’s still at the hospital. They’re running tests.”

“Still?” The word was out before Max could stop himself.

“They can’t figure it out yet, they’ve done so many tests....” her father’s voice sounded distraught and helpless. “She has to stay until they can find out.....”

“I’m so sorry. And I’m really sorry to bother you,” Max told him.

“Should I take a message for her?” Mr. Parker asked, regaining control of himself.

“No, it’s fine. I just....wanted to see how she was doing.”

“Well, thank you for caring. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it,” her father said. “Goodbye.”

Max placed the phone gently back in its cradle. They couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her? A feeling of dread was gnawing away at his stomach.

***

The weekend was hell. Max did nothing but lie around all day, wondering about Liz. Isabel covered for him and told their parents he wasn’t feeling too well. They came into his room once in a while to check on him, but they mostly left him alone. Max was grateful for that at least. He sat on his bed watching endless reruns of Seinfeld and MASH. The canned laughter repeated itself over and over again, but it never registered in his brain. His thoughts were only on Liz. He wondered if she was home yet and if she had found out what was wrong. He wanted to call, but couldn’t bring up the courage to do so. If he called, her father might recognize his voice and think he was obsessing over her and then if she wasn’t home he would be upset and the phone would only add to his worries and he’d tell Liz she had some loser friend who had no life but to sit around thinking about her and then he’d probably take out a restraining order...... Shut up, Max told himself. Forget about driving the Parkers insane. He was driving himself insane! He couldn’t take any more. Standing up, he walked out into the family room and snatched the keys to the Jeep from the coffee table. His parents had taken their car somewhere, and Isabel was out with friends. He climbed into the Jeep and drove away without a second thought.

He drove down every road he could think of, not really caring where he ended up, just trying to get away. Finally, when he could see the sun grazing the edge of the horizon, he turned back and drove home. Pulling into the driveway, he could see that his parents were home. Isabel probably was, too.

He stepped into the house and was greeted by his father. “Hey, Max. Feeling a little better?”

“Yeah,” Max replied. “Sorry. I just needed to get out for a while.”

“Sure,” his father agreed. “I was a little worried about you being cooped up all weekend.”

Relieved that his father didn’t suspect anything out of the ordinary, Max flashed him a quick smile and headed up to his room. He opened the door to find Isabel seated at his desk. “Well, hello there,” she said, turning in the chair. “All rested up?” She had a slight smirk on her face.

Max, however, was not in the mood. Although the drive had cleared his head a little, he still wasn’t able to shake off the worry that had been growing inside of him for almost a week. “Shut up,” he told her, sinking down onto the bed.

Isabel’s tone softened. “Listen, Max, I know you’re worried, but there’s nothing you can do. Just try to go to school and do everything normally, and things will get better. She’ll be back, Max. And she’ll be fine.” With that, she stood up and walked towards the door.

Max watched her. “Isabel.”

“Yeah?” she turned.

“Thanks for leaving me alone this weekend. Thanks for covering for me.”

A smile crossed her face. She knew when her brother needed to be left on his own. “Sure, Max.” She left.

***

The next day, Isabel, Max, and Michael were eating lunch when Isabel suddenly gave Max a sharp poke in the ribs. “Look!”

Max turned to the direction she was nodding at. There, sitting at their usual table, were Maria, Alex......and Liz. They seemed to be deeply engrossed in a conversation. None of them looked particularly happy. Liz’s head was close to Maria’s, and they were discussing something that he couldn’t make out. Max couldn’t take his eyes off of her. Her hair, perfect as always, was tucked behind her ears. She looked.....well, she looked like someone who had spent the weekend in the hospital. There were dark circles under her eyes, and she still looked paler than usual. To Max, she had never looked more beautiful.

Max didn’t realize that he had been staring until he noticed Isabel’s hand waving in front of his face. “Max,” she called. “Max!”

Max snapped back to Earth. “Hmm?”

Isabel rolled her eyes. “So?”

Max was confused. “So what?”

“So do you think you could return to the planet now, Max? Look, she’s fine. I mean--” Isabel’s critical eye moved over her, “I’ve seen people looking better, but what can you expect? She’ll be perfectly fine in a couple of days.”

Max looked back at Liz. “Right.”

Just then, Liz lifted her head and met his gaze. Something flashed in her eyes, something that Max couldn’t recognize. He quickly looked away, embarrassed to be caught staring at her.

Max didn’t get a chance to talk to her the rest of the day. She had spent most of her classes making up missed tests. Max longed to talk to her. He wondered why she hadn’t called him, then quickly brushed the thought away. She was probably tired when she got home. No big deal. He would go to the Crashdown later; maybe he could talk with her there.

When the last bell rang, he pushed his way through the crowd. Suddenly he could see her in front of him. “Liz!” he called.

She turned and spotted him immediately. His heart sank when she didn’t smile, only moved to the edge of the hall so that she could wait for him. He quickly caught up with her. “Hey.”

“Hey,” she said, forcing a small smile onto her face. Max began to feel nervous. Why did she look so scared? Was she afraid he was angry at her for not calling?

He was growing more anxious by the minute. He clutched his math book as if it were a lifeline and he was a drowning swimmer. “So, um, how are you?”

“Pretty good,” she told him. “You?” Her eyes darted from side to side.

Why was she doing this? Didn’t she know how much torture this was? He gently tipped her chin up, forcing her to look into his eyes. “No, Liz,” he said quietly. “I mean really, how are you?”

“Oh.” She fidgeted a little. “I feel fine, Max. Really.”

He let out a great breath of air. “Really?”

“Yeah,” she told him. “I really don’t feel like anything’s wrong.”

“Well, what did the doctors say?” he asked her. He noticed that she kept looking around the hallway, maybe because there were so many people around. “Liz,” he said before she could answer, “do you want to go somewhere....less crowded?”

She relaxed a tiny bit. “Um, yeah. That would be good. I’m allowed to go into the chemistry room after school. Miss Hardy knows sometimes I do work in there. We can talk there.”

“Sure,” he agreed, leading her down the hall.

When they reached the room, she closed the door and set her bookbag on the floor. “Max, I’m really sorry for not calling,” she told him almost immediately. “It was just that with all the hospital stuff, and all my work, and everything--”

“Liz, it’s fine,” he assured her. “Don’t worry about it. I was worried, that’s all.”

She looked up at him, and he could have sworn he saw a tear in the corner of her eye. “Are you sure?” she whispered.

“Positive.” He moved closer to her and reached out to touch her cheek. God, he had missed her. He wanted to take her into his arms again, to tell her that he wasn’t mad, that he could never be mad at her...

She glanced down at the floor again and he stepped back. He turned his back so that he was no longer facing her. He was still holding his math book, and he gripped it tightly. Staring at the floor, he tried to tell her what he felt. “Liz,” he began, “it’s just that I was so worried....you know, after Tuesday night...and then when you didn’t call I thought something must have happened...”

From behind him she took in a sharp breath. “Max...”

“No, Liz, wait. I’m so sorry, I didn’t know whether or not to call you, because I needed to talk to you, but I didn’t know whether you wanted to.”

“Max.” There was an edge of panic in her voice.

“But I had to hear your voice telling me that you were OK....I’m sorry....”

“Max!”

He whipped around, and the book fell from his hands and clattered to the floor. He couldn’t move. He saw her standing there, her breath coming in rapid gasps. She looked at him, and her eyes were begging him to help, but he was frozen, rooted to the floor in horror for what felt like an eternity. Finally he gave a jolt and lunged over to her. She slumped forward into his arms. Hastily, he lowered her limp body to the floor as carefully as possible. Her eyes flickered. “I--I can’t breathe,” she whispered. Her breathing was ragged and uneven. “Max....” she was too weak to say anything.

“Hang on.” Max started to stand up. His eyes were full of panic and concern, and his voice was shaking. He moved towards the door. “I’ll get some help....”

“No!” she cried as forcefully as she could. It took a lot of effort. She didn’t want him to go. “Don’t leave me here,” she pleaded. “I can’t--”

He was uncertain and full of fear. “I have to get help, Liz. Somebody has to call an ambulance.”

She closed her eyes and struggled to draw in a rasping breath. She knew he was right, but she couldn’t let him go. She had no energy left to fight. “No,” she whispered, feeling helpless. Her lungs were screaming for oxygen, but no matter how hard she fought, she couldn’t seem to breathe. She was so dizzy...the room was getting darker and darker. A numbing sensation swept over her limbs. All she wanted to do was sleep. “Please...” Her voice was so soft he had to lean in to hear. He hesitated and took her hand. Looking down at her, he knew that he couldn’t leave her here. He couldn’t do it. His mind raced as he looked around in despair. Suddenly he gathered her up in his arms as gently as he could. Her body was so fragile in his hands, and her head rested on his shoulder as he moved towards the doorway.

***

Isabel and Michael sat alone at their usual booth at the Crashdown. “Where is he?” Isabel asked, sounding irritated. She glanced at her watch. “He’s forty-five minutes late.”

Michael looked up from his Will Smith burger and Saturn Rings. “He’ll be here,” he told her between mouthfuls. “He stayed after to talk to Liz.”

“Not for 45 minutes, Michael!”

Just then Maria appeared at their table. “Is everything OK?”

“Yeah,” Michael replied. “Just wondering where Max is.”

“He’s still not here?” Maria asked.

“No. Is Liz?”

“She’s not working,” Maria replied, looking uncomfortable. “She’s....recuperating.”

“Oh. Well, he said he was going to talk to her and that we should get a ride over here with you. But then he said he would meet us here.”

Maria shrugged. “I don’t know.”

Isabel eyed her suspiciously. “Maria, is there something that you’re not telling us?”

Maria bristled instantly. “No. No, nothing. Why?”

Isabel continued to watch her. “You just seem kind of tense.”

Flustered, Maria put her order book back in her apron. “Actually, um, if you guys don’t need anything, I should be going. Gotta get these people their food.”

“Who?” Isabel asked, looking around. “There’s only one other group of people here.”

“Oh. Right. I meant I had to take a break.” Maria made a beeline for the back door, taking off her apron and hanging it on the hook.

Isabel watched her go with her mouth hanging open. “OK, that was a little strange, even for her.”

Michael nodded slightly. “Something’s wrong.”

Isabel looked over at him and met his concerned gaze. “What do you think it is?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know.”

***

The hospital waiting room was fairly buzzing with activity. The phone at the desk was ringing nonstop. Anxious family members were sitting in the hard plastic chairs, some crying. Several small children were whining to their mothers, who brushed them aside worriedly. Dr. Moran pushed his way through the crowd at the desk. “What do you have for me, Karin?” he asked his coworker.

She glanced at the board. “Suture in Room 3, also a toddler complaining of stomachache in Curtain 2.”

He sighed. “Exciting day, isn’t it?”

“Oh, yeah. Try not to get too overwhelmed with all the flu cases.”

He flashed her a wry grin. “I think I’ll take the sutures first.” He grabbed the chart and made his way out.

Just then the double doors by the ambulance entrance burst open, and young man came staggering inside. In his arms was the limp form of a girl. “Help!” he called hoarsely. “Somebody please help her!”

Dr. Moran rushed to his side. “What happened? What’s your name, son?”

“Max,” he replied. “Max Evans.” Several other doctors were already running over to his side. He looked around anxiously. “You have to help her. She just...collapsed. Please, I don’t know what it is, just please help...” His voice was strained and he looked ready to collapse himself.

“Get a gurney over here!” Dr. Moran shouted. One arrived immediately and Max gently placed her on it. He grabbed for her hand as the gurney was being rolled down the hall. The doctor called out a number of tests, but Max barely heard him. He kept watching her face, praying that she would open her eyes and smile at him. “What’s her name?” he heard the doctor ask through the haze.

He tore his eyes away from her. “Liz--uh, Elizabeth Parker.”

“Do you know of any medical history?”

“She was just here. Some kind of tests, I don’t know. But she came to school today and she seemed like she was fine.”

Dr. Moran turned to the nurse at his side. “Get the records for an Elizabeth Parker. See if we have a chart for her.” The nurse bustled off. As they continued down the endless hallway, Max felt his throat tightening up. Why wouldn’t she wake up? What was wrong with her? ase, please, please, Liz, wake up, he pleaded silently with her. They finally reached the door of a room and entered. Liz was lifted onto a bed as the doctors swarmed in, shouting orders left and right. Max didn’t know what to do. He felt that he shouldn’t be in the way, but he couldn’t step back. He kept staring down at Liz, unable to take his eyes off of her, afraid that he’d miss some small movement showing him that she was OK.

Suddenly a nurse bustled in. “Dr. Moran, we’ve found the charts.” She handed him some papers which he quickly flipped through. Max couldn’t read his expression. The doctor looked up. “Karin, order a CTC and a CAT scan. And page Oncology. Get Dr. Jacobs down here now. Tell him his patient has returned and we need him.

Max’s head snapped up. “Oncology?”

Dr. Moran turned to him. “That’s where Miss Parker has been referred to, Max. It says here that she is starting treatment on Thursday.”

Max’s head spun. This couldn’t be right. “But Oncology. That’s cancer treatment.”

Dr. Moran looked sympathetically at the young man who was just realizing what all this meant. “That’s right, son. It says here that that’s what her tests revealed.”

***

The shrill ringing of Isabel’s cell phone interrupted her conversation with Michael. She picked it up. “Hello?” A look of surprise and relief crossed her face. “Max! Max, where are you? What’s going on? You sound terrible.”

Michael leaned over. “What is it?” he mouthed to her.

She shushed him with a wave of her hand. “Max, I can’t understand you. You sound like you’ve been crying. What is going on?” She listened for a moment as Michael watched her intently. Suddenly her eyes widened. “Oh, my God.”

“What? What is it?” Michael was growing impatient and a little worried.

Isabel’s voice became panicked. “Well should we--OK--no, we’re there...yeah, we will--OK, Max, OK. We’ll be right there.” She shut off the phone and stood up, picking up her coat and purse. “Get Maria. We have to go.”

“Where? Where is he?”

“He’s at the hospital--” she pulled her coat on, “--with Liz. Get Maria now.”

Michael jumped up. Maria, who was pouring coffee, looked over at him. She saw the look in his eyes and immediately knew something was wrong. Without waiting for him to say a word, she ran over to the counter. “Nicole!” she yelled. “I have to go!” She grabbed her keys and ran over to Michael and Isabel, who were already hurrying out the door. Tears were running down her face. No one had to tell her what was happening. She fumbled to find the right key, but her vision was so blurred she couldn’t even see. Her thoughts were running together and she couldn’t remember how to even find her car.

Michael reached for the keys. “Give me those.” She handed them over without a fight. He got to her car and started it. Maria climbed in the passenger seat beside him, and Isabel jumped in the back. They pealed out of the parking lot, heading down the highway as fast as the car would allow.

***

When they entered the hospital, Isabel sprinted for the main desk. Michael was leading Maria in right behind her. “Can you help us--” suddenly she caught sight of a figure slumped in a chair. “Max!”

He opened a weary eye to see Isabel hurrying towards him, a look of concern on her face. He looked like he hadn’t slept for about three days. In one hour, he had aged ten years. “Oh, my God, Max,” Isabel murmured, kneeling down beside him. “You look awful.” She reached out a hand to him. “How do you feel?”

He could only shake his head in answer. He forced himself into a more upright position and attempted to clear his throat. “Did Maria tell you?”

Isabel nodded. “Yeah.” Just then Maria and Michael appeared behind her. Maria’s face was streaked with tears. Isabel looked up at her, feeling sorry for the girl. She was barely holding it together. Thank God Michael was somewhat keeping her under control. Isabel turned back to Max. “How is she?” she asked him gently, afraid of what the answer might be.

He shook his head again, the only thing he could think to do. “She’s awake--or at least she was for a while. Her parents are with her.” He closed his eyes again. “But I don’t know....I don’t know how she’s doing.” His voice was so heavy with sorrow that Isabel thought she would start to cry right then and there. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what kind of hell her brother was going through right now. If only there was something she could do. She gave his hand a little squeeze.

“Somebody should call Alex,” Maria whispered.

“What?” Isabel craned her neck around to look at her.

“Alex. We have to call him. He’ll be upset if we don’t tell him.”

Isabel nodded. “You’re right. I’ll call him.” She stood up and brushed herself off.

Maria gave her a grateful look. “Thanks.” She watched her go, then turned to Max. “Can we see her?”

“No, only her parents are allowed in now. They said maybe later they would let one person at a time come in, but that doesn’t seem very likely.”

Maria’s face fell. “I want to see her,” she whispered, eyes dampening again.

Michael rubbed her shoulder. “Maybe tomorrow,” he told her. “I’m sure she’ll be feeling better then.”

Maria nodded numbly. “What should I do? What am I supposed to do until then?”

“The only thing you can really do is wait,” Michael told her gently. “You should go home.”

“I don’t want to...”

“Maria,” he told her, “there’s nothing to do right now. The best thing for you to do would be to go home and get some rest so that you can see her tomorrow.”

She looked at him and knew he was right. “Can you take me home?”

“Of course,” he replied.

Isabel came back into the waiting room. “I called Alex, but he wasn’t home, so I left a message telling him what happened. I said there was probably no reason to come down.”

“You were right,” Michael told her. “We’re probably going to leave now, too.”

Isabel nodded. “Max?”

Max had been sitting through all of this, not saying a word. He didn’t even appear to be listening. “What?”

“Are you coming home?”

He shook his head slowly, tiredly. “I’m not leaving.”

“Max, you might not even get to see her.”

“But I might be able to. And even if I don’t, this way I can talk to her as soon as I’m allowed.”

Isabel saw the look on her brother’s face and knew there was no use arguing with him. “All right,” she told him, bending down to give him a hug. “I’ll tell Mom and Dad where you are.”

He nodded, thanking her. Michael walked up to him next and rested a hand on his shoulder. “Good luck, Maximillian. Tell her I hope everything is OK.”

Michael stepped back, letting Maria come up to give Max a farewell hug. “If you talk to her,” she whispered, “tell her I said hello, OK? And that I’m coming to see her as soon as I can.”

“OK,” Max replied, returning her hug. The two of them held onto each other for a brief moment, each feeling the other’s pain. Then Maria stepped back, gave him a sad smile, and joined the others. They said their final goodbyes and left.

Max was once again alone. He sighed, sinking back down into the hard plastic chair. The sharp arms poked him in the back, but he didn’t even notice the pain. More than anything he wished that he could see Liz. It was killing him to have to sit out here, not knowing what was going on inside her room. He needed to see her, to talk to her, to hold her. He needed her so much it frightened him. But he couldn’t have her. He knew that. She would never be able to be with him. And now...what was going to happen to her? He kept telling himself that she would be fine. She was a fighter; she’d pull through somehow. But as much as his brain kept repeating that, his heart didn’t believe it. Cancer. People died from cancer. Not just old people. People like Liz. What would he do without her? His body gave an involuntary shudder. He would never see her smile again. Never feel that small hand slip into his. Eating at the Crashdown would be out of the question. Hell, he wouldn’t even be able to look at the Crashdown. He’d move out of town, somewhere far. Like Vermont. God, Liz, don’t do this to me. He bit his lip. Stop thinking about it! he told himself. But he couldn’t stop. His mind refused to obey him anymore.

***

Hours passed. Max glanced at his watch. 7:52. He had been in an out of a restless sleep, but the chair was now digging into his back so much that he couldn’t sleep no matter how he tried. He stood up and stretched. His sore muscles were screaming. Just then he saw three figures walking down the hallway. Squinting, he made out Liz’s parents and the doctor who was treating her. His heart gave a small jump. They seemed to be deep in conversation. Her mother and father were clutching hands tightly. As they came nearer, they caught sight of Max. Her mother gave him a tight, forced smile. “Thank you,” she whispered. “Thank you for taking care of my baby.” Her father nodded his agreement.

“How is she?” Max asked hesitantly.

The doctor looked over at him. “Why don’t you let me finish up with Mr. and Mrs. Parker, son, and then I’ll come over and talk with you?”

“Sure,” Max agreed. He was too tired to argue. Sitting back down, he watched the end of their conversation. It didn’t appear to be good.

Finally the Parkers headed out the door and the doctor came over to him. “What’s your name again?” he asked.

“Max.”

“Max. Well, I’ll be honest with you. She’s stable for the moment, but the truth is, she’s a lot worse than we expected. We were planning on starting treatment on Thursday, but now with all these complications....” he trailed off. “We didn’t expect this to happen.”

Max tried to keep his face expressionless, but he knew his distress was showing. This can’t be happening, his mind repeated over and over. He took a deep breath. “Can I see her?”

“She’s very tired, Max. She’s probably asleep by now.”

“That’s OK,” Max told him. “I don’t mind. I just--need to see her. Please. I won’t wake her up or anything. But I have to see her.” His choked voice ended in a whispered half-sob.

The doctor looked at him sympathetically. He knew Max wasn’t going away, no matter what he told him. “All right,” he agreed. “But please, even if she is awake, try not to tire her out. She needs all the rest she can get.”

“I promise,” Max told him earnestly. He jumped up and followed the doctor down the hall.

When they reached the door, the doctor stepped back. “I’ll let you visit her alone,” he told him.

Max thanked him. He waited until the doctor left before taking a deep breath and pushing the door open. He felt his throat catch. Liz was lying in the middle of the bed, wires sticking out everywhere. If she had looked thinner in school, she looked positively emaciated now. The blue hospital gown she wore hung loosely around her frail, thin frame. Endless machines beeped around her. Max moved over to the bed, sitting in the chair beside her. He took her small hand in his, feeling how limp it was. He wove his fingers through hers. “Liz,” he whispered involuntarily. A tear worked its way out of the corner of his eye. He looked around her room to the endlessly beeping machines, the IV bags. It still wasn’t sinking in that this nightmare was actually her life. It didn’t seem real. The tiny blip-blip of the heart monitor repeated over and over in a dull monotone. Max watched the jagged green peaks rise and fall steadily. Liz’s heart..... he thought. Funny, her heart seemed to be doing better than his was.

Just then a small noise from the bed caused Max to look back down at her. He almost fell of the chair when he saw a pair of wide brown eyes staring up at him. “Liz!”

“Max?” she whispered to him. “What are you doing here?”

“I was waiting for you,” he told her. “So were Isabel and Michael and Maria. Maria wanted to stay and talk to you, but we didn’t think we’d be able to. So she says hi.”

Liz looked at him curiously. “But you stayed.”

“I couldn’t leave, Liz. I needed to see you the first second that I could. And the doctor finally let me come in. But he said I wasn’t supposed to wake you up.”

“You didn’t,” she assured him. “I just knew you were there.” And she had. Somehow she had felt him enter the room, felt his presence there with her. Looking into his wounded eyes, she felt her heart break. She sighed. “Dr. Jacobs told me what happened.” Max said nothing. He just waited for her to continue. “He said you brought me in here.” Max nodded, the memories of that afternoon flooding back to him. Had it really only been five hours ago? It felt like weeks. Liz watched the pain cross his face. How could she tell him how much she loved him? “Thank you,” she said softly.

The hint of a smile crossed Max’s face. “Well, this was the only thing I could really do, Liz. I mean, besides leaving you in the chem lab.”

“Not just for taking me to the hospital, Max.” She struggled into a sitting position, where she could look him more squarely in the face. “Thank you for staying here and for coming in to be with me. And thank you,” she swallowed, “thank you for coming up to me in school. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you, Max...I didn’t know how.”

“Why didn’t you say anything, Liz?” His voice didn’t sound angry, just hurt.

“I was going to,” she told him. “I would have told you in the chem lab after school if....if I had gotten the chance. But I spent all day thinking of how to tell you, and I just couldn’t. I couldn’t do it to you.” She eyed him, watching him, but he kept eyes down. “I’m sorry,” she said in a quivering voice. Her eyes suddenly flooded with tears, but she blinked them away before they could fall.

Max moved over to perch on the side of the bed. “Come here,” he told her, gathering her up into his warm embrace. “It doesn’t matter,” he assured her. And he meant it. Earlier he had been hurt, but it really didn’t make a difference anymore. He knew now, and there was nothing he could do about it. Which brought up another point. Jesus, he thought. I can’t tell her, I can’t do it... But he knew he had to. The nagging guilt was tugging at his heart. “Liz,” he said regretfully, “I can’t do anything.”

“What do you mean?” she whispered into his shoulder. Her chest was tight and her eyes were burning, but she would not cry. She wouldn’t let herself break down.

“I can’t stop it, Liz. Remember,” he pulled away so he could look at her face, “remember when your grandmother was in the hospital?”

She nodded, his point becoming clear to her. “You couldn’t fix it.”

“And I can’t,” his voice broke, “I can’t fix this.” He looked at her eyes. They were glistening with unshed tears.

“Max, I didn’t expect you to,” she replied quietly.

“I wish more than anything that I could, Liz. But I can’t do it this time...I can’t make this disappear. I would do it in a heartbeat if it was possible. You know that.”

She pulled him back into their hug. “I know,” she whispered back.

***

A knock on the door caused them both to look up in surprise. Max rose quickly and stood beside Liz’s bed. In walked two doctors, both clad in green scrubs and white lab coats. Liz seemed to recognize them. “Max,” she told him, gesturing towards them, “this is Dr. Hasson and Dr. Leonard.” He nodded towards them in greeting.

“Hello, Max. And hello again, Liz.” Dr. Hasson was a short, blond woman in her mid-30’s. She looked down at the girl in the bed. “I’m a bit surprised that you’re awake, Liz. I thought you’d be asleep.” She glanced over at Max with a hint of amusement on her face.

Liz saw the look. “I just woke up all of a sudden,” she explained to her. “I’ve been talking to Max for about five minutes now.”

“I see,” the doctor replied. “Feeling OK? Tired?”

“A little,” Liz replied. “But better than before.”

“That’s good.” The doctor made a few notes on her chart and flipped the cover shut. “I hate to do this to you, Liz, but we’re going to have to do a spinal tap.”

Liz’s eyes were frightened. “Spinal tap?”

“We have to take some fluid from the base of your spine,” Dr. Hasson explained, looking at her sympathetically. “You’ll have to lie very still, Liz. You can’t move even the tiniest bit.”

“Is it going to hurt?” Liz asked her. She was still holding on to Max’s hand. He glanced over at her, his heart breaking. Her eyes were so frightened, but she was trying to keep her voice strong.

The doctors looked at one another. “Yes, Liz,” Dr. Hasson replied quietly. “It will hurt. And once it’s over, you’ll have to lie still for a while so that you won’t feel as sick.”

Liz’s voice wavered, but never lost its strength. “It’s going to make me sick?”

Dr. Leonard, who until this point had reminded Max of some sort of robot, spoke up. “It may or it may not, Liz,” he told her. “Hopefully, if you don’t move for half an hour or so, you won’t feel anything. But there’s a chance it could create some nausea or dizziness.”

Liz nodded, trying to take it all in. “It’s starting now, isn’t it?” she whispered. “The tests, and the treatment. It’s all starting now.”

Dr. Hasson smiled sadly at her. “Well, Liz, think of it this way. The sooner you begin this treatment, the sooner you can walk out this door and go home, perfectly cured.” Liz was trying to believe her, but the doctor knew this was a lot to handle in such a short time. “If it’s any comfort,” she told her patient, “I promise I will be being completely honest with you every step of the way, Liz. I won’t hold information from you, and I won’t put what I call a candy coating on anything.”

A smile tugged at Liz’s mouth. “You mean like when they give you a shot and tell you it won’t hurt at all?”

The doctor smiled also. “Exactly. I promise I’ll tell you everything just as it is. I want you to know what’s going on with you, Liz. After all, it’s your body. You have a right to know what I’m doing to it. And this way it will make it easier for you to trust me.”

Liz looked up at the woman. She knew she would have to have complete faith in her. After all, she was putting her life in her hands. “OK,” Liz said, taking in a breath. “I guess we should do it.”

Dr. Leonard stepped forward and the two began preparing instruments for the test. “OK, Liz,” Dr. Leonard told her, “I want you to turn over on your side.”

Max felt a little uncomfortable. “Should I leave?” he asked.

“It’s up to Liz,” the doctor replied. “Some people like to have someone in here with them, so they can talk to them or distract them. Others would rather be alone.”

Liz gazed up at Max. “Will you stay with me?” she whispered. She didn’t have to ask.

Max knelt beside her so they were at eye level. “Just look right into my eyes,” he whispered to her, “and keep holding my hand. Just squeeze it whenever it hurts. Don’t worry,” he grinned when he saw the look on her face, “I’ve got pretty tough fingers.” He moved his other hand over to her hair, brushing it back from her face. Behind her, the doctors had the needle ready. They looked at him over her shoulder and nodded. He looked back at Liz. “OK, Liz. I’m here. Don’t worry.”

Suddenly her fingers gripped his with an uncharacteristic strength. She drew in a sharp breath. “I’m here, Liz,” he repeated. “I’m here, it’s OK.” He never took his eyes off of hers. He could see the pain in them. He shuddered, not even wanting to imagine what she might be feeling. A stab of pain shot through his heart as if from a knife.

She could feel whatever it was they were doing to her numbing her lower back and sending waves of pain radiating throughout her body. She wanted to kick and scream and fight off every doctor that came near her. But she forced herself to focus on Max, focus on his soulful eyes which were fixated on hers. One look in those eyes and she was always lost....but now the needle in her side refused to let her mind travel to anything else.

“Breathe, Liz. Take a deep breath. Come on,” he urged her, trying to take her mind off of some of the pain. Her hand was still clutching his as his other one continued to smooth her hair. “It’s OK, you’re doing fine...” The doctors made a small movement behind her, and her grasp tightened on his. Tears of pain pooled in her eyes, and her breath was coming in short spurts.

Oh, God! her mind shrieked. Her hand was numb from grabbing his so hard. She couldn’t feel her fingers, nor could she feel anything else but pain. Her body felt like it was paralyzed. I can’t do this, Max, oh God oh God I can’t.... His eyes were staring in to hers so intensely it was a wonder they didn’t bore two holes into the top of her head. But she could barely even see them anymore. The entire room was fuzzy with pain, and everything was becoming dimmer. Max, help me please...

The knife twisted in his heart. Ignoring the fact that his fingers were being turned to ground meat, Max kept talking to her. “Remember when we danced together, Liz? Remember? You had your hair pulled back with that headband, and you looked so beautiful. You looked perfect, Liz. And then we danced, we danced for so long, and you told me about your parents not being home--not a good thing to tell a guy,” he smiled. His breath was choking up in his throat seeing her in this much pain, but he continued to talk. Was she even hearing him? Behind the pain and the tears, he thought he could see her eyes smiling. He kept talking, not even sure of what he was saying. He just wanted to distract her, to keep her from all of the pain. Concentrating on her eyes, he tried to visualize that night. He could see it perfectly, as if it had been only minutes ago. Could she see it, too? The whole time he was speaking, he tried to get her to feel him. I love you, Liz. I’ve never said it, but I do. And I’ll be here whenever you need me to be. I’ll do whatever I can, Liz, I just wish it were more... He could see her resolve wearing further and further down. Her hand was shaking from gripping his so hard, and the tears in her eyes had slipped down her cheeks without her even realizing.

Finally, Dr. Hasson stepped back and announced, “We’re done.” Max let out a monumental breath and realized he didn’t even know he had been holding it. Liz breathed also, finally. Bit by bit, her hold on his hand slowly loosened. Max still held her fingers loosely, and he continued to stroke the hair behind her ear. “You did well, Liz. You did a wonderful job,” the doctor told her. “I know it’s not easy.”

Max continued to hold her gaze, never breaking it. “You were great, Liz. Really. And look--” he wiggled his fingers in her hand, “still intact.” He smiled gently, trying to hide the fact that his voice was hoarse and strained. The lump in his throat refused to go down, no matter how he tried.

Her eyes hadn’t left his the entire time, and they continued to gaze deep into his, seeing his entire soul. “Thank you,” she managed to get out, and Max knew she had felt the connection also. He didn’t reply, only gently wiped the tears from her face with his free hand.

The doctors moved towards the door. “Try to lay still, Liz,” Dr. Hasson told her. “Don’t move for a while.” Her eyes traveled warmly over to Max. “You can stay if you want,” she told him, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Just let her rest.”

“Sure. Of course. Thank you,” Max replied, grateful for the opportunity. The doctors left, and he turned back to Liz.

“Max,” she started before he had the chance to say anything, “thank you. Thank you so much.” He opened his mouth, but she kept going. “I never could have done that without you, Max. I never would have made it.”

“Yes, you could,” he protested. “Liz, I know you would have.”

“No, I wouldn’t,” she argued. “Max, you have no idea how much you--”

“Shh. Liz, calm down. You have to stay still, remember?” He leaned over and gently kissed her forehead. “Just rest for now. We can talk later.” He stood up, carefully letting his cramped legs stretch out. Without letting go of her hand, he took his seat again in the chair.

“Thank you,” Liz repeated once more. She didn’t no what else to say. No words could ever express the gratitude she felt for him. Sighing, she closed her eyes and tried to sleep.

***

Max watched her still form laying there in the bed in front of him. Her chest rose and fell evenly. At least he had that to be thankful for. Exhausted, he rubbed his eyes. It felt as if he hadn’t slept for weeks. It was hard to believe this was only his first evening here. With that thought, a new sadness passed over him. The first evening. He knew there would be many more to come. Would he even make it that long? He couldn’t answer honestly. He wanted to be with her more than anything else, but he didn’t know if his heart would be able to take any more. He immediately felt disgusted with himself. Liz has to do this whether she wants to or not, he told himself, and you don’t know if you can. You don’t even have the hard part. She’s the one that actually has to live with this disease. You’ve got it easy, buddy. Guilt pierced his heart like an arrow. How could he possibly be so selfish? God only knew what Liz saw in him. He didn’t deserve her. That he knew for sure. She was so strong, and so beautiful, and so smart.....and then there was him. Poor, stupid, selfish Max. At the one time Liz truly needed somebody, he wanted to run and hide. But he wouldn’t. As much as he feared the whole situation, he would never leave her. He just couldn’t do it.

Just then a small moan from the bed brought him out of his self-pity. He instantly reached out and took her hand again. “Liz?”

“Max?” her voice sounded dry and parched. She sounded weak.

“I’m right here, Liz,” he told her, giving her hand a little squeeze. “What is it? What’s the matter?”

“Max....ohhh God.” She moaned again. “I feel so sick...”

He swallowed hard. Why was this happening to her? What had she done to deserve this? Please, God, if you’re there, don’t let this happen to her. Make it happen to me instead, I don’t care. Just stop doing this to her! “The doctors said that might happen. I’ll be here if you need me. It’ll pass, Liz, I promise. Don’t worry.”

“I feel like I’m gonna throw up...” she whispered.

Max reached over and felt her forehead. She was burning up. His eyes widened with shock and fear. Her temperature had to be well into the hundreds. “Liz,” he said, getting up, “I’m going to get something, hold on.” He ran into the bathroom and looked around frantically. Spotting a washcloth hanging by the door, he snatched it up and soaked it with the coldest water possible. He carried it carefully back into her room and laid it across her forehead. “Do you...need anything? Is there anything I can do?”

“Take me home,” she pleaded with him.

The corners of his mouth turned up slightly in a sad smile. “I wish I could, Liz. But you have to stay here until the doctors say you can leave.”

“No,” her voice was a little stronger, “no. I can’t stay here. You can’t make me--” she was rising from the bed, trying to pull the IV out of her arm.

“Liz--” he got up to stop her.

“They can’t keep me here, Max. I won’t stay. I won’t.” Deep down, she knew what she was saying was ridiculous. How would she make it out? They would know the minute she walked out the door, as if she would even make it that far. But her feverish mind could only think of leaving. She had to get out of there. Her feet swung around the side of the bed and found the floor. She tried to stand, but as she did, she was hit by a wave of nausea, followed by a wave of dizziness so intense that her knees buckled. She would have fallen had Max not reached forward to stop her. She didn’t even feel his arms around her holding her up. All she could feel was the spinning in her head and the queasiness making its way through her stomach. Her legs were shaking, they were so weak. The entire room was spinning around her in an endless black spiral.

It was at that moment that she realized she had no choice in this. She was just another victim in the grip of a cruel disease. There was nothing she could do about it. She couldn’t even stand up on her own! Tears filled her eyes as Max’s strong arms lifted her easily back into her bed. He sat down with her, his arms around her in a loose embrace. “Liz...” he whispered, not knowing what else to say. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“I hate this!” she choked out. Her voice was thick with tears.

“I know, Liz, I hate it too,” he replied, his own voice thick.

“No, Max, I hate being like this. I hate not being able to take care of myself or even walk by myself. I hate having you see me like this. And I hate--” her voice quivered and almost broke, “I hate ruining both our lives like this.”

Max looked down at her pinched, drawn face. “Liz,” he said, “nothing that you could ever do would ever, ever ruin my life.” His voice was quiet and deadly serious. “As long as you’re here with me, Liz, then I’m thankful for that.” He looked down at her face, where a single tear was working down her cheek. “I’m not saying that I like this. I can’t stand thinking about you going through all of this. But please, please believe me when I say that I won’t ever leave you. I’ll be here every single step of the way, Liz. I promise you.” He kissed her lips gently in order to prove his point.

When he pulled away, she was looking at him with an expression he couldn’t quite place. Suddenly, she pulled him close to her and buried her face in his chest. And for the first time since she had found out about her illness, she allowed herself to cry. Deep, racking sobs shook her frail body. Max only held her in his arms, knowing that there was nothing to do but let her cry. “Thank you,” she kept whispering. “Thank you....” Her tears had soaked all the way through his shirt, but still she continued to sob. Her breath came in great gulping gasps.

Max ran his hands lightly through her hair. “It’s going to be OK, Liz,” he told her. “It will be, I promise.” For a long time he sat very still, allowing her to cry. Her sobs were so heavy it seemed that they would never end. All the emotions that had been bottled up inside of her had finally broken loose. When he felt her sobs begin to subside, her smoothed her hair again. “Feel better?”

She nodded almost imperceptibly, although she really wasn’t sure whether she was or not.

Gently he laid her down on the pillow. Panic flooded her face. “Don’t leave me,” she whispered.

“I won’t,” he assured her, laying down beside her. “Just close your eyes and try to sleep,” he told her, wrapping his arms around her and drawing her close. She lay resting against his chest, her breath still coming in occasional small hiccups. He moved his hands up and down her back comfortingly until he felt her body begin to relax beside his. Her breathing began to even out, and the noise of the machines faded away as she fell asleep for the first time in the cold, stark hospital.

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