Rating: PG

Category: Max/Liz

Summary: Liz's thoughts after she rejoins the others in 'Max to the Max.'

Spoilers: 'Max to the Max'

Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me. Roswell is property of Jason Katims, David Nutter, the WB, etc.Feedback: Yes, please!

He's gone. They took him. My Max, my Max Evans. The man who taught me what it is like to be in love. They took him from me, from Isabel, from Michael and the others. Agent Pierce and the FBI alien hunting unit have him. They seized him when Max was trying to save me. Sweet Max, he loves me so much, time and time again, he risks his own life-- Michael and Isabel's too-- for me. He healed me. Not just a bullet in my stomach but completely; showed me new ideas, experiences, feelings, things I have never known existed. And now he's gone. And I might never see him again.

Isabel's upset. I can tell. I don't blame her, Max is her brother, and she loves him dearly. I start crying as I tell them the news. That Max was taken. Michael wraps his arms around me, like a big brother, a friend. Tess shows no indifference. I know she is concerned, just doesn't want me-- us-- to know. We leave the carnival silently, trying to escape without Sheriff Valenti seeing us. It works.

The car ride home is silent. Everyone is still in shock from the day's incidents. Also, we are concerned for Max. We don't know what to tell his and Izzy's parents. Izzy says she will come up with something, something to cover his absence for a few days. The thing we don't realize is that he might never come back. Our love towards him has caused us to be oblivious to this fact. I sit next to Michael; Tess and Isabel are in the back of the jeep. In these past few moments I have come to rely on Michael as I would Alex. To provide support when I fail to be strong.

We eventually reach the Crashdown Cafe. I see Alex and Maria sitting inside. Waiting nervously. When we enter, Maria runs up to give me a hug. She is happy to see that I'm okay. But I'm not. It is nothing Nasedo did to me. All he did was lure Pierce out in the open to kill him. This way, he could protect Max, Michael, Isabel, and Tess. But he failed, failed miserably, and life has gone totally wrong. Maria sees the dried tears on my face. Alex notices the missing person. Suddenly, they are concerned. They can tell something is wrong. "Where's Max?" Alex asks.

That's when I burst into tears again. Isabel's face looks just as distraught as mine. Michael spoke. His fierce, angry voice rang out through the empty restaurant, echoing the words I spoke an hour ago. That he's gone.

We are all worried, confused, afraid. We don't know what to do, any of us, nothing like this has ever happened before. Most likely Sheriff Valenti will find out. I don't care anymore, all I want is Max back. I want our lives to return to the way they were: normal and safe. Slowly our group of six breaks up. Tess follows Isabel home since Mr. Harding, Nasedo, whoever he is, won't be there. I think that's good. Isabel will need someone to talk to, even if it is Tess. Their worst fears have come true and Max is with the alien hunter.

Alex leaves, totally bewildered. Out of all of us, he has known this secret for the least amount of time. But yet, he has been a great help, and yes, a terrific person towards Isabel. Finally it's just Maria, Michael, and I. Michael stuck around to walk Maria home and probably to see if I'm okay.

I tell them to go; that they better start heading home. Maria tells me to call her if I need something, even Michael volunteers to stop by in the morning. I have some of the best friends, even if it did take a tragedy to bring us all together.

I head upstairs. I can't bring myself to take out my journal. It just hurts too much. Instead, I just lay there on my bed, staring at my ceiling, lights off. I try to sleep. I can't. Instead, my thoughts wander back to Max. Is he okay? Where is he? Does he know we are safe? That Nasedo is hopefully coming to get him? Who knows what type of experiments they will do to him? Is he... is he dead? The last one starts the tears again. They come streaming down my face. Usually I am strong, tonight I'm not.

And I never got to tell him I love him.

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