Rating: PG

Category: Other

Summary: Takes place last season, between “Leaving Normal” and “Missing.” A typical journal entry of Liz’s, as how I’d imagine. Purely foof to hide my anger at this season in. Funny how writing your own journal entry can lead you to creating one for someone else instead. Enjoy.

Spoilers: I don’t think so. By now everyone’s seen the first season, right? Disclaimer: Roswell and the characters do not belong to me. They belong to the WB and Jason Katims. I just happen to ‘live’ in that world too often. Author’s Notes: I’m not sure if I’ll write more small entries like this. If I get a lot of feedback, then all right. If not, maybe…

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Journal Entry 10

It’s October 25 and lately I’ve been wondering what exactly my part in all of this is. I mean, don’t you ever wish that something would just happen and then it does? Like when you least expect it too? And this one event changes your whole life significantly. It changes who you are, your beliefs, the view of your world. Everything. And a month ago, when it seemed like my life seemed like it was going no where, Max Evans appeared. A whole month ago, when Max Evans healed that bullet hole two inches below my ribs, my wish came true. I am no longer an ordinary schoolgirl living an ordinary life. In fact, I’m part of something much more. Something I know is bigger than me, that will make me do things I’ll never suspect.

I love him. I’ll pen that much. But he’s being so damn stubborn about staying away from me. Keeping me safe, Max claims. But doesn’t he know that the day he healed me, he made me a part of his life. Whatever plans the stars had made for his future, they’re now mine too. I’ve found my soul mate, my other half. We can’t be separated. Even though we’re apart, we are one. And I know he loves me. Has loved me since he first laid eyes on me. And that was about eight years ago! And that part scares me, that Max Evans really loves me that much. I never thought it would be possible. Bit it also is the part that gives me hope. Hope that soon we’ll be together. No Topolski, nor paranoia due to the FBI. And no small town Sheriff poking his nose in what definitely is not his business. And no ex-boyfriend watching over our every move. It’ll be Max and me, and not even Michael would be able to stop the inevitable.

Despite this whole alien thing, Maria and I have been learning that they are so much like us in many ways. I even suspect my best friend has an infatuation with Michael Guerin. Not that she will admit it. But this whole ‘not of this earth’ aspect irked Maria a bit more, okay so a lot more, than it did me. It makes me glad that she is finally growing accustomed to it.

Wow, my mind has really been wandering tonight. But now I’ll get to the point of why I decided to write in here tonight. I saw Isabel in the hallway during school today. Just enough to give her the small gift and card I had picked out for her. Today is Isabel’s birthday. How could I forget? Alex has been reminding Maria and me constantly, everyday for the past few weeks. Just a random thought here, but isn’t it odd how my two closest friends and I seem so attracted to the three aliens here. Three of them and three of us. Hmmm, I wonder…

Anyways, I had picked out a beautiful necklace: a delicately engraved, small pick rose on a small droplet of glass, attached to a thin silver chain. It had cost me a quarter of my week’s earnings at the Crashdown, but when I saw it, I just knew I had to get it for Isabel. I want her to know that I’ll be there for her…and Michael, not just Max. That she can trust me. And that I care so much for her brother, that I would do anything to protect them. All of them. Most of all, I guess I just want Isabel Evans, the Elle McPherson of the sophomore class, to accept me for who I and not just some girl guarding her most precious secret.

I can say one thing. Isabel was certainly surprised. When I handed her the carefully wrapped box and the card I made on my computer, she had looked at me inquisitively. When she asked me what it was, I put on a genuine smile and told her it was a birthday gift. Isabel’s stared at me for a couple of seconds in disbelief, that I actually knew her birthday, or even cared. I guess she was trying to decide if I was for real or not. Or maybe it’s just that she doesn’t know Alex to well. And, I don’t think I’ll ever forget the look on Isabel’s face when she lifted the chain from the box.

She whispered that it was beautiful and then on impulse, gave me a hug. That was probably my moment to be shocked. I swear I saw her eyes glisten with moisture. The emotions building up inside me were strong. Maybe Isabel and I have a chance to get to know each other better. Maybe she’d stop worrying about Max and me. And, I have to smile. Her ice queen posterior can be broken to reveal someone I might have the potential to be better friends with. Great friends, maybe even sisters.

But I think it was at that moment, when she thanked me for the gift and laughed at my pitiful attempt at humor in a birthday card, before returning to the self she tends to show the world, that I realized. At that moment, more than anything else that has happened to me since that one eventful, faithful day did I realize Isabel and I: we’re much more alike than different. We both feel emotions: love and pain, fear and longing; and more importantly, we just both want to be accepted by the people around us for who we really are inside. And I know I’ve found that acceptance with Max. I just hope there is a guy out there who would except Izzy for herself.

Maybe my three aliens and I, maybe we’re the same after all. And maybe they don’t need to necessarily find the home they were always searching for. If Max…Michael and Isabel let the right people in, they would discover that the home they were looking for has always been right in front of their eyes. I just hope that someday…

And as I end this entry, I want to wish Isabel a very happy birthday, with many more to come. Because I know she needs that happiness more than I do.

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