Batman & Robin.

Pinky & the Brain.

Kara & Emily.

Granted, the latter pair isn't as well-known as the former two. And they don't have their own cartoon on KidsWB. But they are connected to the WB. And they can be just as wacky and entertaining as those two lab mice. Proof? Their fanfiction series "Roswell Elementary" has over the months found places in almost every Internet Roswellian's heart. Not to mention that their fanfiction archive "Roswell Undergound"-- which showcases only hand-picked, high-quality fanfic-- has also managed to grab a large audience.

Slowly, bit by bit, day by day, Kara and Emily are doing what Pinky & the Brain attempt to do every night.

You know, take over the world. Duh.

So, what are these two like? I, the brave soul that I am, set out to get the dish from these two personally, arranging separate interviews with the Radish Duo. It seemed a like a hell of a lot better idea than stalking them with a camera.

Tidbits about their past and personalities, their opinions on the "Roswell" and its couples, and what they really think about each other... it's all here.

And it starts now.

THE INTERVIEWS

Part I: Brendan vs. The Bard

Kara has chosen the Crashdown as the place for out interview. Seeing how it does not exist in this realm, we jump into the nearest porthole and are transported to our desired location.

When we are seated at a booth, Kara politely asks for Saturn Rings and a cherry coke, no arsenic. As the waitress, who I am certain does not watch "Roswell" or at least didn't see the opening scene of "The Balance," struggles to interpret what Kara means by this, I throw in that I'd like a piece of Alien Apple Pie and a Captain Pickard Peach smoothie. Then I remember "Roswell" is not a WB TV show in this alternate universe but an actuality, explaining the waitress' confusion. As she scurries off to place our orders, with a perplexed look on her face and her eyebrows knit in confusion, I start the interview.

Rae: So, Kara, what's this I hear about a tattoo?

That's right, folks. When I interview a person, I jump right into the good stuff.

Kara: Yes, I have a tattoo, of the Japanese kanji for fire demon on my right shoulder.

Rae: Any special reason you got it?

Kara smiles, a sort of reminiscent smile. If this really was a television show, this would signal some sort of "flashback sequence" and the image onscreen would get all wavy-like before cutting to said flashback sequence.

Kara: I got it right before my 21st birthday with my friend Gwen. Total spur of the moment. And because I wanted it. The kanji for oni-- demon-- is cool.

Rae: Would you ever get a "Roswell"-inspired tattoo?

Kara: Not that I've considered it, but maybe, if I could think up something cool enough.

Rae: Would you ever get Brendan Fehr tattooed on your left shoulder?

Kara: Um, no. I'm not that drooling. I just wanna talk philosophy with him.

Philosophy, huh? Gotta give the girl props for that. Most females are thinking something entirely different from "philosophy" when the topic of Brendan Fehr is brought up.

Rae: Let's get to the stuff we should be talking about. You're one of the most well-known "Roswell" fanfiction authors out there. What was the TV moment that initially made you say, "Hey, I gotta write fanfic for this show!"

Kara: Hmm... my first fic was "Lullaby," and I think I wrote it after either "Missing" or "Leaving Normal"... I just thought that Izzy was so lonely and needed someone--before I knew Alex would be introduced to the show.

Rae: So you're an Alex/Izzy fan?

Kara: Yes, I am. Very much so. Not as much as M&M though, of course. Isabel is just someone I really identify with. And she reminds me a lot of my sister. And Alex is just so right for her.

Rae: Rumor has it that you actually went to school with Colin Hanks.

Kara: Yes, I did. And he and I had mutual acquaintances, but of course I never knew it.

Kara stops momentarily and starts to speak directly into the tape recorder.

Kara: Colin, if you see this, Sara Tarbert says hi.

She sits back up.

Rae: You're probably kicking yourself right now.

Kara: I've been kicking myself since December, when I found out, especially since I almost went to the play he directed at LMU [Loyola Marymount University], but didn't, 'cause one of my semi-ex's was involved in the theater group.

Our waitress arrives with our orders, which we eagerly grab away from her.

Kara: Oooh, Alien Blast and Saturn rings...

Rae: Yummm... peach smoothie...

I take a long sip in a very Homer Simpson-like fashion as she samples an onion ring.

Rae: Back to the subject at hand. Are you still in college?

Kara: Graduated from LMU, but taking classes at community college for fun, so kinda.

We take a moment to dig into our food hungrily, then return to the conversation.

Rae: What's the most memorable fan e-mail you've ever received?

Kara: Good one, or bad one?

Insert here a piece of the interview which had to be cut out for the final product, for innocent ears may not be able to bear it. The tape recorder is stopped and rewound, and starts to record again.

Kara: ...I haven't gotten any bad fanmail related to *fic*.

Rae: So, what the best "I praise you for your writing talent" mail you've gotten?

Kara: The most memorable was probably Melanie's, because she actually recognized the scene from "Romeo and Juliet" [I alluded to] in "Resting Here With Me." And because she worships the bard as much as I do.

Rae: So, you're a Shakespeare fan.

A lovestruck expression crosses her face. I almost withdraw the statement, but it is too late. She begins to gush.

Kara: I worship Shakespeare. If he were alive... oh, boy... I'd be his high priestess of drooling fangirls.

Move over, Brendan.

Rae: Which is funny, because many people compare Max and Liz's relationship to Romeo and Juliet's. What's you take on the M & L love thang?

Kara: The M & L love thang-- it's, to quote Maria, the look-into-your-eyes, soul-mate thing. They're destined for each other. And no one that the producers or writers toss into the show will change that. Mr. Spiffy Doofy Ears just needs to realize that. It just might take them a little while to get together, since it *is* the WB...

She trails off as we laugh together about the tactic the "Teen Primetime Soap" network uses to draw in viewers, having them glued to the screen like zombies, chanting, "Kiss her... Kiss her, dammit..."

Kara: I'm a True Believer in romance and True Love.

Rae: Your most well-known "Roswell" piece is the ongoing "Roswell Elementary," which you co-write with Emily. How's the whole concept get started?

Kara: It was the night after "Heatwave" [aired], when Emily sent out the e-mail [to the mailing list we both subscribe to, saying] that she wanted someone to talk to about the ep. And since I'll talk to anyone who responds back, we started discussing, and wondering what it would've been like for them as kids... and "Roswell Elementary" was born. We never thought you guys would put up with 50+ eps, and still want more.

Rae: People are pushing for a "Roswell Junior High" series, I believe.

Kara: Em and I have collectively decided that since people split up in junior high and have separate lives, it would be too hard to keep track of them. And we want some mystery and distance between what we've created, and what we know on the show. Emily dabbled in her Dough Sohn fic, "Those Broken Wings" though.

Rae: Speaking of Emily, name one word to describe her.

I bring this up not to get the real dirt on their friendship or elicit a catfight, but-- oh, hell, that's exactly what I'm doing.

Kara: Effervescent.

Not the Jerry Springer adjective I was looking for, but it's a good word.

Rae: Good word.

Kara: (grinning) SAT word.

Rae: Now, name a word to describe you.

She stumbles over this one.

Kara: Gah... um... intense? 90% of the time, I'm the female equivalent of Michael Guerin.

Rae: Why do you think you two work so well together? You write RE ["Roswell Elementary], run Roswell Underground...

Kara: Because we're almost at the opposites of the spectrum sometimes. She's sweetness and light to my dark, Maria to my Michael-- in a radish sister kinda way. But we both change places easily. We just... work well together. And we both like "My Little Ponies."

The secret to their friendship is revealed. It lies in the power of the pastel-colored pony.

Rae: What the next project you two will be working on?

Kara: We've got a few more arcs in mind for the REs, and at some point, we want to put up a songfic page on Roswell Underground... After the camping trip arc though, nothing too huge.

Rae: How about your own individual projects? What can we expect?

Kara: I'm working on a kinda action fic about Isabel and Max, and my alternate dark fic, called "Envying Michael Evans," and all the story additions for Danilise's future world. And Em's got a few up her sleeve, including a road trip fic, I think.

Can't you just here the trailer announcer dude's voice, saying, "Coming soon, to a computer screen near you..."?

Rae: Okay, this is where you put in your closing statement. Make it good. No pressure or anything.

Kara: Gah. Umm... Thanks for all the people who sent me love-mail, it always makes my day, being the needy musketeer that I am. Thanks to Emily for putting up with my wonkiness, and much doving to my radish brethren. And Majandra rocks!

End the Kara & Emily Interview, Part I.

Part II: Chicken Little

Emily has opted for a location from her own very fanfiction: the beach setting of “Childhood Nostalgia.” Another day, another porthole. Gotta love those portholes. Gotta love a job that requires you to jump into them.

As we make ourselves comfortable on a pair of lawnchairs set on the warm, grainy sand several feet away from the tantalizing ocean shore, I pat myself on the back for bringing along the tape recorder again, for I do not take notes by hand very well in tropical locales. Don’t ask.

Though not a drinker herself, Emily offers me an alcoholic beverage out of hospitality. After declining-- for I must stay sober for the next twenty minutes or so for professional purposes-- I click on my tape recorder.

Rae: Your partner in crime, Kara, described you as "effervescent."

Emily: (blushing) Aww... I'll have to give her a radish hug for that later.

Rae: How would you describe her?

Emily: Insane yet loveable.

Rae: (laughing) Yup, that's Kara. Where did you two meet each other? Not that I'm trying to work in a shout-out or anything.

Which is exactly what I’m trying to do.

Emily: (laughing) Yeah, sure. We met on your fanfic list, Rae! Because I wanted to talk about the ep and I sent a message saying that anybody who wanted to talk about it could IM me... Kara IMed me, and the rest, as they say, is history. In fact, I think we even started thinking of the concept for RE that first night.

Rae: Exactly what she said.

Their stories check out.

Rae: Maybe I should start thinking up some more original questions. ;)

Emily: (winking) Either that or it's just because we share a brain.

Note to self: investigate that theory.

Rae: Anywho, let's talk about Roswell Underground. You've gotten some flame mail, regarding the selectivity of the site. Is it hard not to take it personally?

Emily: It doesn't bother me that much. It is a little offensive, but I know that we're doing it for the right reasons. There are tons of other fanfic sites out there that will accept anything that is sent to them... and Kara and I just didn't think we could run our archive that way! I don't think that the people who have criticized us really know us at all, anyway. We hate to reject people. In fact, we keep switching off on the rejection letters just because it's such a sucky thing to do. The only thing that bothers me is that we are never rude in our rejection letters and we always try to offer constructive criticism about the story submitted. (grinning) You'd think people would want help on how to become a better writer, wouldn't you?

Rae: Of course. But moving on to happier topics...

I pause for a dramatic effect.

Rae: Michael and Maria.

Almost instantly, she perks up. It’s as if I have waved a magic wand.

Emily: Oooh. M&M.

RaDa113: Were you a fan of that couple in the beginning, even before the show hinted at a romance?

Emily: No... I didn't even think about it really until “285 South.” I watched the show from the beginning, but “285 South” is the episode that really made me sit up and say, "Wow!" I still like watching it on tape.

Rae: Truthfully, how many times have you watched that episode?

Emily: (grinning) Oh... I watch it at least once a week. Sometimes more.

Rae: (laughing) Is that your all-time favorite episode?

Emily: Well... sentimental favorite, I think. There will probably be other episodes that will be better... but so far, yeah. It's my favorite. Though [the upcoming episode] “Independence Day” may change my mind. :)

Rae: Here's a question that won't make sense until I explain it: Are you a fan of "Dawson's Creek"?

Emily: Well, the first season I loved it. The past couple seasons I've just watched it, but I haven't been nuts over it. Now I just watch it for something to do while I wait for “Roswell” to come on. Though Henry's cool.

Rae: Yeah, I [used to a huge fan of the show], too. In fact, many fans that lost interest in the [“Dawson’s Creek”] blame it on the two lead characters [Dawson and Joey] becoming [romantically] involved too quickly. Do you think "Roswell" made a wise choice in following in similar footsteps?

Emily: “Roswell” is in a completely different league though. Because it's not just a show about teenagers and their self-centered lives. And I really don't think that the relationships on the show have even started. There's so much potential for the show, not just the romances, but everything. I would love to see the friendship grow between the aliens and the humans, so they all just sort of hung out together in a group. I don't think Roswell will be as soap opera-ish-- I'm inventing new words, here!-- as DC is becoming. It just wouldn't make sense, because the aliens can't date anybody else besides the three humans who know. Unless another alien comes in the picture or something.

Rae: Speaking of another alien... who do you think is the shape-shifter [fourth alien]?

Emily: Oh... I don't even know. It could be anybody. I've heard some crazy ideas already. I'm not even going to guess.

Rae: Aw, you're no fun.

Emily: (grinning) I just don't like being wrong.

Rae: (laughing) I picture Liz saying that. Are you similar to that character?

Emily: No... I'm more like Maria. Wacky. I hate science.

Mock gasp.

Rae: So, during those "intense" lab scenes, you're not paying attention to the experiments?

Emily: (snorting) The most advanced I ever got in science was growing the little plants in the milk cartons.

Rae: Have you ever met someone that, now that you think of it, is a dead-ringer for a "Roswell" character, physically or emotionally?

Emily: Hmmm...

She ponders over it a bit.

Emily: (grinning) Well, there was a guy at my high school who kind of looked like Kyle. And he was on the football team too. And I saw a guy who I thought looked like [“Roswell Elementary” character] Mr. Raddish today at the grocery store...

Rae: Mr. Raddish. What's the story behind him? Inquiring minds want to know.

Emily: (beaming) I thought of his name! I still have a copy of the IM. We decided we wanted a really dorky name for the teacher and I threw out "Mr. Raddish?" and Kara said, "That could work."

And thus, the controversy is settled, ladies and gents.

Rae: And the Raddish phenomenon began.

Emily: (grinning) Indeed. And what a long strange radishy trip it's been.

RaDa113: If RE was picked up for a spin-off series, who do you envision playing him?

Emily: Maybe the geeky guy who plays Mr. Whipple in the Charmin commercials, if only he was a little younger.

Rae: Do you watch a lot of television?

Emily: Not really anymore... and I hardly watch any series. Now when I watch TV it's mostly for movies and stuff. The only series I love right now is “Roswell.” The other ones are just kind of... there. Though I'm loving the “My So-Called Life” reruns on Fox Family! Another Jason Katims project.

Rae: Ah. “My So-called Life.” The character you most identified with there?

Emily: I think at the time... Angela. Because when the show came out I was 15, just like her. So I felt like I could really relate to what she was going through. Even though my family's not quite as normal as hers.

Rae: Aren't all families dysfunctional?

Emily: Ahh... you're right. Except on TV.

Rae: (grinning) TV. What a crock. ;) I mean, take the Evanses. Too normal.

Emily: Yeah... and the Parkers, too. Even though the mom's kinda distant with Liz for some reason. Liz's dad rocks.

Rae: Maybe her mom is the fourth alien!

Emily: (gasping) That would mean Liz is half alien then... Hmm. Anything is possible on “Roswell.”

Rae: Not that I'm, like, running a pool [on who’s the fourth alien] or anything...

Emily: (snorting) Right... I've seen the sheet going around, don't try and hide it.

Rae: But what if Mrs. Parker turned out to be Max's mom?

Suddenly, it all turns into a Greek tragedy.

Emily: Oh, my gosh! Trauma! I don't think Liz could be related to Max though... that would just be weird. Though I have wondered if maybe Isabel and Michael are the real brother and sister.

Rae: How do you feel about a romance between the latter two?

Emily: (eyes widening n horror) No!

She moans and claps hands over her ears and starts chanting, “See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil…” over and over. The tape recorder is stopped, and after a minute or so, we’re back.

Emily: Do you have any cedar oil handy?

Rae: (handing it to her) Here ya go.

Brief pause in conversation.

Rae: If you could say one thing to any Roswell character, what would it be?

Emily: I'd tell Michael to wake up and look at what he has right in front of him before she gets fed up with him for good and walks off!

Rae: Word, sister.

Emily: And I'd tell him not to ever get involved with Isabel.

Rae: Those are two things.

Emily: (grinning) I know...

Rae: Any closing comments before we wrap things up?

Emily: Umm... Kara just said that I shouldn't scare you.

I’m not scared right now. Worried is more like it.

Rae: Would you like me to take that as your closing comment?

Emily: I don't know... do you want it?

Rae: C'mon. I promise I won't shriek in horror. She stamps her foot indignantly. As much as a person can stamp indignantly on sand.

Emily: I'm not a scary person! I'm like Rex from Toy Story. A big chicken. Well... little chicken actually since I'm short. Umm... hmm. (noticing me staring at her) Never mind.

Rae: Is that your closing statement?

Emily: (blushing) I guess.

End the Kara & Emily Interview, Part II.

Back to The Radish Diaries