Disclaimer: If this belonged to me, Foursquare would've been WAY different. But since it doesn't, here's my litte revision. And if you sue, you can have a plastic radish and a beat up old Elephant that I was briefly engaged to.

My name is Isabel Diane Evans, and I haven't kept a journal since I was eleven years old. But my life was fine until now. It was...

It was perfect, just like Michael said. It was a perfect family, a perfect life, and I'd finally found friends I could trust--real friends. There was even a guy, Alex, that I was ready to let in. I was ready to hand my heart to him, to let him see the real me inside and out. And then the dreams happened. And things began to change inside of me. And I could almost feel my humanity slip away...

We've always felt different. Max and I, we've always known we weren't quite like everyone else. Maybe it was because of the way we could always put our toys back together, even after they broke. Or how I could read people's thought sometimes, when I was really small. Or just the fact that whenever I touched my brother, he felt right. Different from everyone else. And I knew he and I belonged together. And when we found Michael again, he felt the same way. He had that quality...that spark...that 'not of this world' feel.

And we were safe in our little world. We knew we were different, but we didn't need to know why. Until that Crash Festival when we were ten. And we all saw. And we all remembered--the fire, crunch of metal, the horrible shaking...

And we knew that Roswell's biggest myth really wasn't. And it scared me. It terrifyed me so much that I didn't know what to do for a long time. I tried to deny it, I even stopped using my powers for a little while. I tried to be a normal girl. I acted just like Gracie and Maggie, the most popular girls in our class. And I tried to pretend so hard...

But I still had the dreams.

I thought about it a lot--if I had another mom and dad, if I had another brother waiting for me somewhere else. If someone else looked back at me from the other side of the stars. I memorized the names of all the constellations--just in case. And I got better at my powers, because you never knew when you might need to heat a cup of water. And it made cleaning my room easier. But I still watched the normal girls, like Liz Parker, and wished every night that everything would change. I'd give up my powers in a second if it meant that I could be human. And since I wasn't human, why did I deserve such great and wonderful parents? I love Mom and Daddy more than anything, and I've wanted to tell them for so long...

And after a while, I didn't forget, but I almost got used to the idea. Until Liz Parker was shot, and my idiot brother healed her. Because he'd loved Liz since we were small, just like Michael had always had that obsession with Maria DeLuca. And our little world was shattered.

And the FBI came. And we got rid of them. Michael got sick, but we managed to bring him back to life. And just as my life was settling again, just as I was beginning to feel almost human again, she came.

And the second bomb dropped.

I'm losing my humanity. I can feel it. It's this thing that pulses inside of me, that cries out to taste Michael in the night, to feel his arms around me and his skin pressed against mine. I want to belong to him body and soul, just as I was meant to be... And after that first dream, after that first nightmare, the reality sank in for a second time in ten years. I'm not human. I'll never be human. And this isn't my world or my life. I've been living on borrowed time, almost in anticipation of this. Four of us. Two and two, to complete the square. There isn't three and three, three musketeers to three czechoslovakians. The face in my dreams has changed from a boy I might've loved, to an alien that is closer to me than anyone, because he does share blood with me, a history. A destiny.

And that alien part of me, that part that's never fit in or belonged anywhere--that part of me needs to be the fourth side of that square.

But there's still a part of me that's human yet. And there's still a place, deep in my heart, that I guess you could even call a soul. Because sometimes, in my dreams--in my human dreams--I still see his blue eyes, and they still smile at me and welcome me in, no matter what I am.

But I'll never belong anywhere. And it's all coming too fast. Does anyone know how to stop destiny?

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