Rating: PG, I guess. Nothing too exciting.

Category: A/I angst, sad, and weepy (well, for me). It's too freaking grim.

Disclaimer: They're mine! Mine, I tell you! *insert evil laughter here* Naah. I wish they were, just as I wish I'd see more smoochies. They belong to Melinda Metz (bless her), Jason Katims, and the people at the WB. No infringement intended.

Spoiler: Major spoiler regarding Alex

Distribution: it's okay! Just tell me where it is so I can visit, ok?

Summary: Someone watches over Isabel's window.

Note: This fic can be used as a companion to "Denial Land." Please send feedback! I love them! Good, bad, never mind the ugly *snerk* This fic was inspired by those ugly Alex rumors over at the spoiler board. And if they DO come true, then there must be a good reason for it. Here's what I had in mind, rather than the half-baked ideas that TPTB had in theirs.

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He watched, helplessly, across the yard to her room. He saw her as she threw herself on her bed, sobbing, two hours before. He heard her mother's hesitant knock at her door, and her muffled reply. Even from the distance he could feel her helplessness.

He wanted to go to her. So badly.

But he didn't.

Instead, he gritted his teeth and watched.

Because it was going to be the last time in a long while that he was going to see her again.

**

He had tried his best, in the past few months, to make himself nondescript. To disappear in front of his friends so his leaving won't be taken as hard. In the end, he succeeded. Of course, they went to his funeral, and there was weeping all around. That could not be helped. But he tried, as much as he could, to lessen it. Out of morbid curiosity, he'd even visited his burial ceremony. Even the reticent Michael had arrived. Maria. Liz. Max, Kyle and Tess. His parents. Half the town, and even some of his classmates. But she wasn't there. He was surprised that she hadn't come.

C'mon, man, you know you're there to see how she'd handle this. a little voice told him in his head.

Which is why he suddenly found himself in the Evanses' backyard, under the cover of the mellowing darkness. He saw her as she cried herself to sleep that afternoon, and her mom asking through the doorway, her worry evident in her voice, even through the door. Diane Evans tucked her into bed, and smoothed her forehead. And he saw her surprise at Isabel's usually tidy room looking like a small dervish had run through it. She didn't know that she would've fainted in shock had she seen what had happened an hour ago. In her grief, Isabel's books and accessories had flown across the room. Her papers and pictures flew haphazardly in the room as she cried in pain. He had watched as she hiccuped and sniffled as she slept. He heard the jeep pull up the driveway, and hid himself deeper into the shadows as Max came home from the funeral.

Why was he doing this? He had asked himself that question for what seemed like a thousand times that night. Of all the things he hated, he hated hurting people. And he was torturing himself by seeing Isabel cry.

He had hoped that somehow she'd miss him. She was, after all, one of the main reasons why he was doing this. So that his decision to join the mission would be worthwhile. He had hoped that, sure, but even then he was surprised at the depth of her mourning. It wasn't even as if they had even been an item in the past few months. Not even. When he returned from Sweden, it was been Max and Liz, Michael and Maria. Heck, even Kyle and Tess. Then Isabel. And Alex.

But that was the plan, wasn't it? He sighed. It didn't make the leaving any easier, though.

For the sake of the future, she had to learn loss. If his death was to help her learn to cope so that she'd become a better leader, than the sacrifice is worth it. He had to keep telling himself that even as he sat there gazing at her.

He heard the rustle of leaves behind him. He went absolutely still, then, he slowly turned, his hand automatically searching his pocket for his stun mechanism.

"Relax, Alex. It's just me," he looked behind him and felt his muscles relax as he saw Leanna, his friend from Sweden, now his partner.

"Leanna," he breathed. "Don't sneak up on me that way!" He frowned at the tall blonde who was part of the Mission like him.

"We have to go."

"Yeah. Okay. Sorry. Go ahead, I'll follow." It was time for him to say goodbye, he knew. He hated this, her catching up on him this way.

"You sure?" she asked, uncertain.

"Yes." he said, exasperated.

When she had left, he turned again towards the house. It was already dark. He took the opportunity to walk across the yard to her room. God, I'm going to miss her, he told himself. He watched her sleeping form, and he felt his heart constrict. For the hundredth time that night, he wanted to drop everything and let go of the whole charade. It was almost painful, his wish to reverse time and his decisions.

Instead, he placed his hand on the window pane where her face would have been, and promised her, "Someday, Isabel. Someday."

"Alex," he heard Leanna whisper urgently in the darkness

He moved back into the shadows, turned, and broke into a run.

Back to Area 51 (Section IV)